I lost count!
Tonight was the shoulders & triceps and abs.
Slow PU: 10
Chair lift: 10
Plange PU: 2.5
Pike press: 5
Side tri rise: 10
Floor fly: 5
Scarecrow: 10
Overhead tri ext.: 10
2 twitch speed PU: 5 push ups
Y press: 15
Lying tri ext.: 15
Side to side PU: 2
Pour fly: 10
Side lean tri ext.: 10 (with 2 weights)
1 arm PU: 0
Weighted circle: 1.5 rounds
Throw the bomb: 12
Clap PU: 4
Slow mo throw: 10
Front to back tri ext.: 8
1 arm balance PU: 8 arms, no push ups
Fly row press: 10
Cross body blow: 40 total
I think I did worse than the first time I did this DVD, but I feel like this time I put in some effort. Also, I used heavier weights.
To make myself feel less disappointed about the ab ripper, I commited to attempting 20 of every thing he did. I made it to the thing where you have extended legs and do a sit up and then on your way down pull up into a v sit. I crapped out during that. I tried doing 15 of everything afterwords, and I think I managed most of those.
Just keep swimming.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
In my spare time, I like to read
I read an article in O magazine that talked about how people consider “timing.” They offered a little test to see how you feel about an actual issue: get a friend, hold out your arm and have the friend press on it, have them ask questions involving the issue and timing (will this get done in the next 5 years?), when you tell the truth, your arm will hold strong; when you lie, your arm will falter. She wrote on to say that to get in tune with your emotional timing, be “in the moment” and listen to your pulse. I’ve been pretty neutral about timing. Sometimes I’m on, sometimes, I’m not. But I do have that timing voice telling me something needs to get done, or telling me to be realistic about a situation. Currently, I’ve avoiding ordering more “December” cards at work. I know we need more. I knew we needed more last week. I have to do it today because I have jury duty tomorrow. But I’m afraid to because to order them, I would be making an executive decision. I’m not worried about making the decision, I’m worried I’ll be punished for making an executive decision. It’s not that I’m incapable of making an executive decision. It’s that I’m aware other people think I’m incapable.
Oh Politics.
As a side note, my new Performance Fleece from Old Navy is amazing. Worth the $15 it actually costs, even better that I only paid $5
Oh Politics.
As a side note, my new Performance Fleece from Old Navy is amazing. Worth the $15 it actually costs, even better that I only paid $5
Thursday, November 26, 2009
P90X... Day 6
Kenpo!
I’m not a huge fan of kickboxing. I did it in college because it’s an easy, accessible, cardio work out that you don’t usually have to think too much for. Honestly, I suck at all of the punches. I have a hard time distinguishing the movements from each other, and generally turn it into a fun dance. That being said, I liked this routine. I enjoyed the stretching, I enjoyed the variety of arm movements, I enjoyed the combinations.
Likes:
Variety
Some of the combinations (I don’t remember which ones)
Brings up heart rate
Dislikes:
Little to no explanation for what you’re doing or how to do it.
Not enough cool down stretches.
Week 1 DONE!
I’m not a huge fan of kickboxing. I did it in college because it’s an easy, accessible, cardio work out that you don’t usually have to think too much for. Honestly, I suck at all of the punches. I have a hard time distinguishing the movements from each other, and generally turn it into a fun dance. That being said, I liked this routine. I enjoyed the stretching, I enjoyed the variety of arm movements, I enjoyed the combinations.
Likes:
Variety
Some of the combinations (I don’t remember which ones)
Brings up heart rate
Dislikes:
Little to no explanation for what you’re doing or how to do it.
Not enough cool down stretches.
Week 1 DONE!
Dog Work
This weekend was the first time mine and my boyfriend’s dogs met each other. It was just horrible to start, and then it got better. I tend to think of dogs like I do young children. They don’t know anything unless you teach them. They push any and all boundaries just to see if they can get away with it. They operate on impulses. They don’t know what new things are ok and what new things aren’t ok unless they ask you. I have similar thoughts for dog training as I do for child sitting. Things like,
*This is a listening area. Only good listeners can be in this area. Non-listeners can go sit in their cage.
*I don’t think you should be licking her.
*We don’t go potty on the carpet.
*That is her toy. You can’t steal her toy.
*Keep your hands to yourself.
*Eat your food and no one elses.
*You have to sit before you get a treat.
*No biting.
Oh. Puppies. I had forgotten. I now remember. Constant “time-out”s Strangers allowing the dog to misbehave. Yelling at the dog and scaring the guests. MEMORIES I’m so glad I don’t have to do that again.
At work, I assist in the holiday card distribution. I had to present options, order, fold, stuff, and address the cards. I’m new here. They’ve been doing this process for decades. In the past, the girl who controlled the process, decided on how things would go. This year, everyone had an opinion, and I accepted and dealt with each one. So the process changed, but the basics stayed the same. You receive a list of customers or clients. You make some sort of notation as to who should no longer be on the list. You make some sort of notation to denote whose card you want to sign. Then there is the highly complex issue of whether the person should get a card, a loaf of charity bread, or a gift basket.
These are high pressure issues, I know.
It’s all board members and top managers who get this list. They’re engineers. (At least, I think so. It’s my understanding that if you’re going to manage engineers, and make deals with engineers, you might be an engineer.) I’m pretty good about detailing directions. I dumb them down as low as possible and be as specific as I can so when you read them, they make sense and can be easily followed.
The deadline for this was Monday. It’s now Tuesday. One person did it pretty close to what I asked for. I’m giving her an A-. One person only crossed off some names that shouldn’t be on there. One person said they did it, but must not have saved it to the same folder. One person handed me the old copies with 5 people crossed off (the list is approx. 600), and said he would “give me a list” of who he wanted to send a card to later this afternoon or tomorrow. That’s not even half the people.
Seriously?
I need to go work at the Ayn Rand Institute.
*This is a listening area. Only good listeners can be in this area. Non-listeners can go sit in their cage.
*I don’t think you should be licking her.
*We don’t go potty on the carpet.
*That is her toy. You can’t steal her toy.
*Keep your hands to yourself.
*Eat your food and no one elses.
*You have to sit before you get a treat.
*No biting.
Oh. Puppies. I had forgotten. I now remember. Constant “time-out”s Strangers allowing the dog to misbehave. Yelling at the dog and scaring the guests. MEMORIES I’m so glad I don’t have to do that again.
At work, I assist in the holiday card distribution. I had to present options, order, fold, stuff, and address the cards. I’m new here. They’ve been doing this process for decades. In the past, the girl who controlled the process, decided on how things would go. This year, everyone had an opinion, and I accepted and dealt with each one. So the process changed, but the basics stayed the same. You receive a list of customers or clients. You make some sort of notation as to who should no longer be on the list. You make some sort of notation to denote whose card you want to sign. Then there is the highly complex issue of whether the person should get a card, a loaf of charity bread, or a gift basket.
These are high pressure issues, I know.
It’s all board members and top managers who get this list. They’re engineers. (At least, I think so. It’s my understanding that if you’re going to manage engineers, and make deals with engineers, you might be an engineer.) I’m pretty good about detailing directions. I dumb them down as low as possible and be as specific as I can so when you read them, they make sense and can be easily followed.
The deadline for this was Monday. It’s now Tuesday. One person did it pretty close to what I asked for. I’m giving her an A-. One person only crossed off some names that shouldn’t be on there. One person said they did it, but must not have saved it to the same folder. One person handed me the old copies with 5 people crossed off (the list is approx. 600), and said he would “give me a list” of who he wanted to send a card to later this afternoon or tomorrow. That’s not even half the people.
Seriously?
I need to go work at the Ayn Rand Institute.
P90X... Day 5
P180X!
When my boyfriend found out I couldn’t do a pull-up (I can, however, hold myself up for approx. 5-7 seconds), he was shocked. “Your arms are in proportion to your body, you should be able to do this.” Come to find out it has less to do with arm strength as it does back strength, and it just so happens my back is full of fat. Lesson learned from the “Legs and Back” DVD. I was initially excited about it because I like leg pilates and I thought I would be similar. Oh, touché, sweet naive girl. I managed about 5-12 reps of each leg move, 0 pull/chin ups, and I only liked one move: 80/20. Every time they did arm stuff, I just moved my hand weights in similar manners.
I hated it.
I did this DVD Saturday… I’m still sore. I was too sore to do anything Sunday except ride the stationary bike. I fell back into my car trying to get out of it on an uphill slant. It’s like a 6.
Likes:
80/20
Dislikes:
Pull-ups!
No actual example of how to do a pull up using a chair. Although you see the girl do it once, it doesn’t seem safe for a beginner.
This DVD was day 5 of the easy set… WTH?
Lack of stretching.
When my boyfriend found out I couldn’t do a pull-up (I can, however, hold myself up for approx. 5-7 seconds), he was shocked. “Your arms are in proportion to your body, you should be able to do this.” Come to find out it has less to do with arm strength as it does back strength, and it just so happens my back is full of fat. Lesson learned from the “Legs and Back” DVD. I was initially excited about it because I like leg pilates and I thought I would be similar. Oh, touché, sweet naive girl. I managed about 5-12 reps of each leg move, 0 pull/chin ups, and I only liked one move: 80/20. Every time they did arm stuff, I just moved my hand weights in similar manners.
I hated it.
I did this DVD Saturday… I’m still sore. I was too sore to do anything Sunday except ride the stationary bike. I fell back into my car trying to get out of it on an uphill slant. It’s like a 6.
Likes:
80/20
Dislikes:
Pull-ups!
No actual example of how to do a pull up using a chair. Although you see the girl do it once, it doesn’t seem safe for a beginner.
This DVD was day 5 of the easy set… WTH?
Lack of stretching.
Friday, November 20, 2009
P90X... Day 4
I had to “put these bagels on a platter” again at work today. I dropped one on the floor. (I threw it out!)
P180X...
Yoga! It was daunting at 1 hour 25 minutes.
Thankfully, I have done yoga before. Thankfully, I used to be into dance and gymnastics. Thankfully, I was wearing the proper pants. Next time, I’ll wear a better top. It was challenging! I haven’t done a full hour of yoga in a few years. I was proud of my ability to do the first round. I’ve done the (chat-a-runga), upward dog, plank, downward dog combo independently for some time now because I find it very relaxing. I felt ahead of the curve. Until they started doing the advanced twist and half moon shit. Those were things at which I did not fare well. Like always, I felt done after 40 minutes. I do not feel sore at all this morning. I like yoga. It’s relaxing and I enjoy the focus it requires. Sadly, though, it gets old.
Likes:
The stair-stepping moves
Difficulty
Tony’s leggings
That chick whose boobs are just waiting to fall out of her sports bra
The part where I’m pretty sure that one guy has a boner
The stretching at the end
Dislikes:
Length
I couldn’t just follow it by listening, I had to see what they were doing which is difficult when your head is dangling somewhere between your 90 degree knee and your yoga mat. I can only guess that this will become easier to follow once I get the routine down.
Adjectives that describe this workout:
Typical
Relaxing
Focused
Challenging
I checked out the rest of “Week 1” since I’ll be at JD’s this weekend and will finish my first “week,” and I noticed that in the “Lean” workout, you skip a few dvds. I think I might do 2 “weeks” of “Lean” and then go on to the “Classic” schedule.
P180X...
Yoga! It was daunting at 1 hour 25 minutes.
Thankfully, I have done yoga before. Thankfully, I used to be into dance and gymnastics. Thankfully, I was wearing the proper pants. Next time, I’ll wear a better top. It was challenging! I haven’t done a full hour of yoga in a few years. I was proud of my ability to do the first round. I’ve done the (chat-a-runga), upward dog, plank, downward dog combo independently for some time now because I find it very relaxing. I felt ahead of the curve. Until they started doing the advanced twist and half moon shit. Those were things at which I did not fare well. Like always, I felt done after 40 minutes. I do not feel sore at all this morning. I like yoga. It’s relaxing and I enjoy the focus it requires. Sadly, though, it gets old.
Likes:
The stair-stepping moves
Difficulty
Tony’s leggings
That chick whose boobs are just waiting to fall out of her sports bra
The part where I’m pretty sure that one guy has a boner
The stretching at the end
Dislikes:
Length
I couldn’t just follow it by listening, I had to see what they were doing which is difficult when your head is dangling somewhere between your 90 degree knee and your yoga mat. I can only guess that this will become easier to follow once I get the routine down.
Adjectives that describe this workout:
Typical
Relaxing
Focused
Challenging
I checked out the rest of “Week 1” since I’ll be at JD’s this weekend and will finish my first “week,” and I noticed that in the “Lean” workout, you skip a few dvds. I think I might do 2 “weeks” of “Lean” and then go on to the “Classic” schedule.
Infinite
Glee:
“I have to go… they’ll think I’m pooping.”
Mercedes giving a Bailey-esque speech to Puck about him being the father. Probably the most mature moment on the show… ever.
“He’ll be crying into my shoulder pads.”
Finn’s mom. I don’t know who that woman is (and she’s not who I thought she would be from Finn’s flashbacks), but her 45 second performance was perfect.
When I was in college, I went out for coffee with a potential romantic partner. He talked about a cruise he went on with his ex-girlfriend and mom the previous year. I remember he talked about it, because it was the only thing he talked about. If I tried to change the subject, my new subject reminded him of Jamaica, where they stopped on the cruise. If I asked him a question about school, he talked about how he used tuition money to fund the cruise. If he asked me a question, my answer reminded him of something that happened on the cruise. He provided details about this cruise for the entire date. I ended it early saying I was going to be late to work.
I feel like this could be an adequate analogy for my social life.
“I have to go… they’ll think I’m pooping.”
Mercedes giving a Bailey-esque speech to Puck about him being the father. Probably the most mature moment on the show… ever.
“He’ll be crying into my shoulder pads.”
Finn’s mom. I don’t know who that woman is (and she’s not who I thought she would be from Finn’s flashbacks), but her 45 second performance was perfect.
When I was in college, I went out for coffee with a potential romantic partner. He talked about a cruise he went on with his ex-girlfriend and mom the previous year. I remember he talked about it, because it was the only thing he talked about. If I tried to change the subject, my new subject reminded him of Jamaica, where they stopped on the cruise. If I asked him a question about school, he talked about how he used tuition money to fund the cruise. If he asked me a question, my answer reminded him of something that happened on the cruise. He provided details about this cruise for the entire date. I ended it early saying I was going to be late to work.
I feel like this could be an adequate analogy for my social life.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
P90X...Day 3... .5
I'm done talkin'
Last night I was unable to squeeze in the Ab Ripper, so I did it after my gym (30 minutes on the elliptical, 25 on the bike) work out today. The only part of me that is sore from yesterday is my chest. My arms don't hurt from which is really surprising.
The Ab Ripper is only 15 minutes, but in that 15 minutes is squeezed 349 crunch-like moves. I did not do 349 crunch-like moves. I probably only did 200 or less. The variety was nice, but after it, I felt like I got more accomplished when I did my own ab workout. I go slow and take breaks, but I attempt to have good form throughout, and complete all reps. I felt like this workout moved too fast for me. I was disappointed in it and myself. Given 25 minutes, I believe I could have performed all 349 reps.
Maybe I'll write down the moves and do them in my own time.
Likes:
Variety
Only 15 minutes
Dislikes:
No "group" introduction
No warm up (Probably because it's assumed you're doing this after a workout)
Too fast
Adjectives that would describe this workout:
Quick
Difficult
Challenging
Short
----
The VH1 show Tough Love is back for it's second season... and let me tell you... I'm peeing my pants in excitement. I LOVE that show. Even more exciting is that Jordan is back and more dramatic than ever! I did notice that the dude in charge is a lot angrier than last season. I hope the show wasn't tainted with VH1's usual drama cocktail. Tough isn't the only word in the title, Guy Who Runs The Show, don't lose the Love! It's not called, "VH1's You're a Romantic Failure and I'm Going to Mock You on National Television... Love."
Last night I was unable to squeeze in the Ab Ripper, so I did it after my gym (30 minutes on the elliptical, 25 on the bike) work out today. The only part of me that is sore from yesterday is my chest. My arms don't hurt from which is really surprising.
The Ab Ripper is only 15 minutes, but in that 15 minutes is squeezed 349 crunch-like moves. I did not do 349 crunch-like moves. I probably only did 200 or less. The variety was nice, but after it, I felt like I got more accomplished when I did my own ab workout. I go slow and take breaks, but I attempt to have good form throughout, and complete all reps. I felt like this workout moved too fast for me. I was disappointed in it and myself. Given 25 minutes, I believe I could have performed all 349 reps.
Maybe I'll write down the moves and do them in my own time.
Likes:
Variety
Only 15 minutes
Dislikes:
No "group" introduction
No warm up (Probably because it's assumed you're doing this after a workout)
Too fast
Adjectives that would describe this workout:
Quick
Difficult
Challenging
Short
----
The VH1 show Tough Love is back for it's second season... and let me tell you... I'm peeing my pants in excitement. I LOVE that show. Even more exciting is that Jordan is back and more dramatic than ever! I did notice that the dude in charge is a lot angrier than last season. I hope the show wasn't tainted with VH1's usual drama cocktail. Tough isn't the only word in the title, Guy Who Runs The Show, don't lose the Love! It's not called, "VH1's You're a Romantic Failure and I'm Going to Mock You on National Television... Love."
Saturday, November 14, 2009
P90X... Day 3
I thought I would prepare myself this morning for "Chest, Back, and Triceps" by watching the dvd in fast forward while eating breakfast. It just scared me. I figured if I made it 25 minutes in (the DVD is 55 minutes), I would call it a win and move on with my life. I managed to go through the whole DVD only being totally unable to do 1 move. I'm giving myself a gold star.
Tony said to write down how many you did so here are my results...
(Keep in mind, any push ups were on my knees, and I used full water bottles for weights)
Beginning push ups (PU): 6
Military PU: 2
In Out: All (10? 20? I don't know I wasn't being accurate)
Chair dip: 10
Plange PU: 3
Pike press: 3...ish
Side Tri Rise: 6 per side
Floor flys: 2 per side
Scarecrows: 15
Overhead tri extension: 15
Two twitch speed push: 8 PU
Y press: 15
Lying tri extension: 15
Side to side PU: 3 per side
Pour fly: 10
Side lean tri extension: 10 per side
1 arm PU: 0
Weighted circle: 1 round
Throw the bomb: 10 per side
Clap PU: 3!!!
Slow mo throw: 10
Front to back tri ext: 8 per side
1 arm balance PU: 10 in plank... I didn't do the PU part
Fly throw press: 8
Dumbell cross body: 50 total
Likes:
Scarecrows
Throw the Bomb
Slow Mo Throw
The catchy names!
Dislikes:
PUSH UPS!
Adjectives to describe this work out:
Strengthening
Self determined
Paced
I have AB Ripper to do later tonight or tomorrow to complete my 3rd day. Update to follow, but I'll give you a teaser... I'M REALLY EXCITED!
Tony said to write down how many you did so here are my results...
(Keep in mind, any push ups were on my knees, and I used full water bottles for weights)
Beginning push ups (PU): 6
Military PU: 2
In Out: All (10? 20? I don't know I wasn't being accurate)
Chair dip: 10
Plange PU: 3
Pike press: 3...ish
Side Tri Rise: 6 per side
Floor flys: 2 per side
Scarecrows: 15
Overhead tri extension: 15
Two twitch speed push: 8 PU
Y press: 15
Lying tri extension: 15
Side to side PU: 3 per side
Pour fly: 10
Side lean tri extension: 10 per side
1 arm PU: 0
Weighted circle: 1 round
Throw the bomb: 10 per side
Clap PU: 3!!!
Slow mo throw: 10
Front to back tri ext: 8 per side
1 arm balance PU: 10 in plank... I didn't do the PU part
Fly throw press: 8
Dumbell cross body: 50 total
Likes:
Scarecrows
Throw the Bomb
Slow Mo Throw
The catchy names!
Dislikes:
PUSH UPS!
Adjectives to describe this work out:
Strengthening
Self determined
Paced
I have AB Ripper to do later tonight or tomorrow to complete my 3rd day. Update to follow, but I'll give you a teaser... I'M REALLY EXCITED!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
P90X... Day 2
Getting the goop out
Today was the "Cardio" workout. On a scale of 1-10 it was an easy 4. I'm still only getting through about 40 minutes and then cutting some of the remaining combinations short, but that has less to do with difficulty and more to do with my endurance. I hope/imagine that my endurance will increase to the entirety of a work out one day.
I don't want to jinx myself.... but I've read reviews where people said they couldn't make it through a whole dvd without stopping to puke or stopping because they couldn't breathe. Those people must have been really fat. Of course, we'll see how arrogant I am when Tony makes me use the pull-up bar I bought yesterday.
Likes:
Banana!
Plyo!
Dislikes:
No Blam! :(
I really really like the kempo/plyo parts so I'm excited for when those dvds come up.
Adjectives that describe this work out:
Easy
Fun for the whole family
Nice
Uplifting
Today was the "Cardio" workout. On a scale of 1-10 it was an easy 4. I'm still only getting through about 40 minutes and then cutting some of the remaining combinations short, but that has less to do with difficulty and more to do with my endurance. I hope/imagine that my endurance will increase to the entirety of a work out one day.
I don't want to jinx myself.... but I've read reviews where people said they couldn't make it through a whole dvd without stopping to puke or stopping because they couldn't breathe. Those people must have been really fat. Of course, we'll see how arrogant I am when Tony makes me use the pull-up bar I bought yesterday.
Likes:
Banana!
Plyo!
Dislikes:
No Blam! :(
I really really like the kempo/plyo parts so I'm excited for when those dvds come up.
Adjectives that describe this work out:
Easy
Fun for the whole family
Nice
Uplifting
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I found my ass!
I didn't do P90X today (failing already?). Instead, I walked 20 minutes at work, did 25 minutes on the elliptical, and walked for another 20 minutes at the gym.
On a scale of 1-10 my soreness today was about a 4. And later, after sitting at work all day, it went to about a 6 and it's mostly right under my butt where I suppose it's lifting. Based on the muscles P90X found for me, I was not lifted.
I figured I’d Put my actual stats in writing so when I succeed, I can prove the difference. Or when I fail, I can tell by how much.
Weight: 127.6 This seems fairly incorrect as it is the lowest I have weighted... ever. But I figure I'll keep using the same scale so it should be consistant.
Bust: 34
Waist: 28.5
Hips: 35
Butt: 38
Thighs: 22.5
Arms: 10
On a scale of 1-10 my soreness today was about a 4. And later, after sitting at work all day, it went to about a 6 and it's mostly right under my butt where I suppose it's lifting. Based on the muscles P90X found for me, I was not lifted.
I figured I’d Put my actual stats in writing so when I succeed, I can prove the difference. Or when I fail, I can tell by how much.
Weight: 127.6 This seems fairly incorrect as it is the lowest I have weighted... ever. But I figure I'll keep using the same scale so it should be consistant.
Bust: 34
Waist: 28.5
Hips: 35
Butt: 38
Thighs: 22.5
Arms: 10
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
P90X... Day 1
Yesterday at the gym, I saw a morbidly obese girl wearing a shirt that said, "Sorry... my boyfriend's in town this weekend." Fail shirt.
This weekend, I got P90X. Today I tried to get the dvd's to work. I'm wary of doing the straight 90 days. I don't think I have that kind of commitment. I don't want to change my eating habits. I pay $40/month for a gym membership I barely use. In respect for myself and lifestyle, I plan on going to the gym when I can, and doing the P90X dvd's (in order) on every other day. I still am not going to follow the nutrition guide. I maintain a healthy weight as is.
We'll see where it goes.
I'm doing the "lean" schedule I got from here: http://maggiewang.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/p90x_calendar.pdf
Today was Core Synergistics. I faired well, I think. I am currently unable to do most of the pushups, and I am only able to make it through half the things after 40 minutes. ...But I made it 40 minutes with an adequate amount of "it" At 41 minutes I brought approximately "i" At 50 minutes I brought "."
Likes:
Banana
Halfback
"Blam"
That blonde chick's roll
Dislikes:
What I like to call inbetween short breaths: Chat-a-runga!
Pushups
Adjectives that describe this work out:
Easy
Fun
Entertaining
New
Requires upper bosy strength.
This weekend, I got P90X. Today I tried to get the dvd's to work. I'm wary of doing the straight 90 days. I don't think I have that kind of commitment. I don't want to change my eating habits. I pay $40/month for a gym membership I barely use. In respect for myself and lifestyle, I plan on going to the gym when I can, and doing the P90X dvd's (in order) on every other day. I still am not going to follow the nutrition guide. I maintain a healthy weight as is.
We'll see where it goes.
I'm doing the "lean" schedule I got from here: http://maggiewang.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/p90x_calendar.pdf
Today was Core Synergistics. I faired well, I think. I am currently unable to do most of the pushups, and I am only able to make it through half the things after 40 minutes. ...But I made it 40 minutes with an adequate amount of "it" At 41 minutes I brought approximately "i" At 50 minutes I brought "."
Likes:
Banana
Halfback
"Blam"
That blonde chick's roll
Dislikes:
What I like to call inbetween short breaths: Chat-a-runga!
Pushups
Adjectives that describe this work out:
Easy
Fun
Entertaining
New
Requires upper bosy strength.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Training dogs and people
My boyfriend got a new, young, dog from the shelter. She knows sit 50%.
I have a 3 year old dog who knows the rules and likes to do other things (unless a treat is involved). Though I have stated multiple times to multiple people, “I am the pack leader” after some internet research, I have learned I am not, and the dog simple minds my requests like an employee. According to this guy: leerburg.com My dog is disrespectful, ill behaved, and I shouldn’t own a pet, procreate, or visit with any creature that doesn’t have opposable thumbs. I agree with him about 75%. I believe the 25% where we differ is because of the following: I am not a dog trainer. I am not a dog breeder. I do not (nor do I want to) own 17 dogs.
I work at the front desk of an office where I am required to press a button to unlock the door. Alternatively, employees are requested to always have their key to let themselves into the office. Some do, some don’t. Some walk in front of my window so I can see who I’m letting in, some don’t.
Goals:
Train my dog not to run ahead of me when people come to the door, when we walk into/out of a room together, when we walk down the stairs.
Train my dog to sit before she’s allowed outside.
Reinforce any and all behavior training for my boyfriends dog.
Not unlock the door until I see who is there. If they can’t move over 2 feet to show their face, then I can’t move over 2 feet to push the button.
The other day, my dog and I were going up and down the stairs frequently. She is not currently required to wait behind me while we go down, but she is when we go up. On the way up, she stayed behind me every time, and eventually earned a treat. After she had the treat, she cut me off on the way down, and blew past me on the way up. She is always reprimanded when this happens, and praised when she does the right thing, but after reading that Leerburg guy, I realized that I may not be the pack leader. I’m the lady with the rules and occasionally the treats. I’m the lady with the food and water bowl, the lady with the leash, etc. She also has begun not being able to listen to me when guests come over. I should be able to control this.
There is a man who has been coming in for frequent meetings. He talks on his cell phone, let’s himself in the door (whether behind someone else, or after I have accidentally pushed the button), and is generally rude and confused by the “gatekeeper” rules. Today, he came in, chatted on his cell in the waiting area for about 5 minutes, and then tried to get in the door. When he realized it was locked and I was staring at him, he asked if something was wrong with the door, and I said “yeah, I didn’t unlock it. Who are you?” “I have to tell you who I am to get in?” Yes, you do, asshole. I played nice and said that until I recognize him (which I should by the end of the week), or he explains who he is and what he’s there for, he has to wait like every other person. I’m not going to lie, I get a giggle out of every jerk who expects the door will be opened, and pulls the locked door to no avail.
I have a 3 year old dog who knows the rules and likes to do other things (unless a treat is involved). Though I have stated multiple times to multiple people, “I am the pack leader” after some internet research, I have learned I am not, and the dog simple minds my requests like an employee. According to this guy: leerburg.com My dog is disrespectful, ill behaved, and I shouldn’t own a pet, procreate, or visit with any creature that doesn’t have opposable thumbs. I agree with him about 75%. I believe the 25% where we differ is because of the following: I am not a dog trainer. I am not a dog breeder. I do not (nor do I want to) own 17 dogs.
I work at the front desk of an office where I am required to press a button to unlock the door. Alternatively, employees are requested to always have their key to let themselves into the office. Some do, some don’t. Some walk in front of my window so I can see who I’m letting in, some don’t.
Goals:
Train my dog not to run ahead of me when people come to the door, when we walk into/out of a room together, when we walk down the stairs.
Train my dog to sit before she’s allowed outside.
Reinforce any and all behavior training for my boyfriends dog.
Not unlock the door until I see who is there. If they can’t move over 2 feet to show their face, then I can’t move over 2 feet to push the button.
The other day, my dog and I were going up and down the stairs frequently. She is not currently required to wait behind me while we go down, but she is when we go up. On the way up, she stayed behind me every time, and eventually earned a treat. After she had the treat, she cut me off on the way down, and blew past me on the way up. She is always reprimanded when this happens, and praised when she does the right thing, but after reading that Leerburg guy, I realized that I may not be the pack leader. I’m the lady with the rules and occasionally the treats. I’m the lady with the food and water bowl, the lady with the leash, etc. She also has begun not being able to listen to me when guests come over. I should be able to control this.
There is a man who has been coming in for frequent meetings. He talks on his cell phone, let’s himself in the door (whether behind someone else, or after I have accidentally pushed the button), and is generally rude and confused by the “gatekeeper” rules. Today, he came in, chatted on his cell in the waiting area for about 5 minutes, and then tried to get in the door. When he realized it was locked and I was staring at him, he asked if something was wrong with the door, and I said “yeah, I didn’t unlock it. Who are you?” “I have to tell you who I am to get in?” Yes, you do, asshole. I played nice and said that until I recognize him (which I should by the end of the week), or he explains who he is and what he’s there for, he has to wait like every other person. I’m not going to lie, I get a giggle out of every jerk who expects the door will be opened, and pulls the locked door to no avail.
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Slate
Dear Prudie,
I am having casual sex with this guy. I really like him. He says he isn't ready for a relationship. How will I know when he is?
—Wondering
Dear Wondering,
When he stops having casual sex with you, you check out why, and you learn he's in a relationship with someone else.
I am having casual sex with this guy. I really like him. He says he isn't ready for a relationship. How will I know when he is?
—Wondering
Dear Wondering,
When he stops having casual sex with you, you check out why, and you learn he's in a relationship with someone else.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Whiner 49er
Things I think are rude:
Showing up expecting to meet with someone you’ve never spoken to before.
Bombarding people as they’re walking out of a store with a survey. Or attacking them every time they pass by you to sign up for something (that you may incur costs for later). Basically, I don’t go shopping to enter to win 1 of 10 $20 gift cards after I take a survey, or agree to a photo package. Nor am I interested in chatting with strangers.
Pressuring someone into a free trial of something they’ll have to cancel within a certain time or be automatically enrolled and have to pay for it.
Walking around work talking on your cell phone. I don’t mean waling to the copier or printer and walking back to you desk. I mean literally strolling around the office talking as loudly as possible.
People standing at my desk whispering to each other. Seriously?
Going into a vacant office to have a conversation with your tire guy on your ear piece. Just because the boss isn't in there, doesn't mean I can't hear you loud and clear 10 feet away.
Things I don’t think are rude:
Telling someone who showed up without an appointment that you don’t have time to see them.
Blowing off someone as they bombard you while you’re walking out of a store.
Refusing anything free when it has strings attached.
Punching the cell phone talker in the face?
I also don’t like it when salary people show up 15 minutes late and leave 5 minutes early every single day. I don’t get it. Do they have so little work ethic that they think it’s just fine to roll in whenever they feel like it? Or is it lack of respect for the fact that by salary they get paid regardless of when they come in so they might as well do what they please when they please. And since their time isn’t accounted for, they have no concept of it. I really hate it when other people behave as if their time is more important than yours. I don’t make you wait. I don’t make you move. Nothing revolves around you. I don’t find it difficult to have polite consideration for others. I find it difficult to be taken advantage of.
Biggest Pet Peeves:
Demanding specific things for tentative plans. (ie. I’ll need breakfast for my meeting at 8am but the guys might not come)
Making others wait for no good reason (ie. You say you’re just running to the bathroom before giving someone their break and then you take 10 minutes to chat, and grab a soda, etc.)
Telling someone they aren’t thinking or feeling what they tell you they’re thinking or feeling (ie. That didn’t hurt; there’s nothing to be mad about)
Wasting (money, food, time, etc.)
Skinny people saying they’re fat.
Fat people saying they don’t know why they’re fat.
Being incapable of having empathy for someone else, not being able to understand their needs because they aren’t YOUR needs. (Also goes with line 3)
Taking advantage of someone else (not to be confused with taking advantage of a situation)
Hypocrisy
People who ask questions that have already been answered
The Travel Agent is an asshole.
Fact: I don’t like people.
Fact: I don’t like helping people.
Fact: I do enjoy being part of a group and working to complete a project.
Fact: All I really want is to go back to school.
The vending machine gave me a regular Pepsi when I asked for a Diet. (as a side note, I prefer Pepsi to Coke now) I would be very angry or disappointed except I really much prefer real soda to diet soda.
Showing up expecting to meet with someone you’ve never spoken to before.
Bombarding people as they’re walking out of a store with a survey. Or attacking them every time they pass by you to sign up for something (that you may incur costs for later). Basically, I don’t go shopping to enter to win 1 of 10 $20 gift cards after I take a survey, or agree to a photo package. Nor am I interested in chatting with strangers.
Pressuring someone into a free trial of something they’ll have to cancel within a certain time or be automatically enrolled and have to pay for it.
Walking around work talking on your cell phone. I don’t mean waling to the copier or printer and walking back to you desk. I mean literally strolling around the office talking as loudly as possible.
People standing at my desk whispering to each other. Seriously?
Going into a vacant office to have a conversation with your tire guy on your ear piece. Just because the boss isn't in there, doesn't mean I can't hear you loud and clear 10 feet away.
Things I don’t think are rude:
Telling someone who showed up without an appointment that you don’t have time to see them.
Blowing off someone as they bombard you while you’re walking out of a store.
Refusing anything free when it has strings attached.
Punching the cell phone talker in the face?
I also don’t like it when salary people show up 15 minutes late and leave 5 minutes early every single day. I don’t get it. Do they have so little work ethic that they think it’s just fine to roll in whenever they feel like it? Or is it lack of respect for the fact that by salary they get paid regardless of when they come in so they might as well do what they please when they please. And since their time isn’t accounted for, they have no concept of it. I really hate it when other people behave as if their time is more important than yours. I don’t make you wait. I don’t make you move. Nothing revolves around you. I don’t find it difficult to have polite consideration for others. I find it difficult to be taken advantage of.
Biggest Pet Peeves:
Demanding specific things for tentative plans. (ie. I’ll need breakfast for my meeting at 8am but the guys might not come)
Making others wait for no good reason (ie. You say you’re just running to the bathroom before giving someone their break and then you take 10 minutes to chat, and grab a soda, etc.)
Telling someone they aren’t thinking or feeling what they tell you they’re thinking or feeling (ie. That didn’t hurt; there’s nothing to be mad about)
Wasting (money, food, time, etc.)
Skinny people saying they’re fat.
Fat people saying they don’t know why they’re fat.
Being incapable of having empathy for someone else, not being able to understand their needs because they aren’t YOUR needs. (Also goes with line 3)
Taking advantage of someone else (not to be confused with taking advantage of a situation)
Hypocrisy
People who ask questions that have already been answered
The Travel Agent is an asshole.
Fact: I don’t like people.
Fact: I don’t like helping people.
Fact: I do enjoy being part of a group and working to complete a project.
Fact: All I really want is to go back to school.
The vending machine gave me a regular Pepsi when I asked for a Diet. (as a side note, I prefer Pepsi to Coke now) I would be very angry or disappointed except I really much prefer real soda to diet soda.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
...Wait for it...
I've just watched the first 15 minutes of Glee, and I must say: best show ever.
Simply Asia Sweet and Sour Chow Mein
7.9 (.9 for novelty)
The actual flavor of the sauce is kind of gross and I was glad that 90% of my noodles were not coated in it. Had the top of the meal tasted like the bottom that was soaking in the sauce, I would have given it a 5. I like noodles and it came with crunchies. I’d eat it again.
Throughout the morning I have had amazing thoughts and forgotten them within seconds.
I am disgustingly addicted to caffeine. Dr. Drew, please help.
Top 5 Professions I imagine I am unable to tolerate based on idealistic criteria:
5. Nurse
4. Politician
3. Hair Stylist
2. Inner City Counselor
1. Customer Service at the Airport
Top 5 Unlikely Professions I imagine I am able to tolerate based on idealistic conditions:
5. Bomb Squad Member
4. Nail Technician (for hands only)
3. Sign Language Interpreter
2. Medical Diagnostician
1. Troubleshooter
Simply Asia Sweet and Sour Chow Mein
7.9 (.9 for novelty)
The actual flavor of the sauce is kind of gross and I was glad that 90% of my noodles were not coated in it. Had the top of the meal tasted like the bottom that was soaking in the sauce, I would have given it a 5. I like noodles and it came with crunchies. I’d eat it again.
Throughout the morning I have had amazing thoughts and forgotten them within seconds.
I am disgustingly addicted to caffeine. Dr. Drew, please help.
Top 5 Professions I imagine I am unable to tolerate based on idealistic criteria:
5. Nurse
4. Politician
3. Hair Stylist
2. Inner City Counselor
1. Customer Service at the Airport
Top 5 Unlikely Professions I imagine I am able to tolerate based on idealistic conditions:
5. Bomb Squad Member
4. Nail Technician (for hands only)
3. Sign Language Interpreter
2. Medical Diagnostician
1. Troubleshooter
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The User's review
SYTYCD
Not to be Politically Incorrect or socially rude, but having a disability (in dance: being fat, deaf, blind, in a style of dance that isn’t aesthetically pleasing, etc) shouldn’t give you any leeway in competition. If you’re deaf and you have average technique, then you need to work on your technique. If you’re fat and that affects your ability to move freely and easily, then you need to work on your weight. If you’re style of dance isn’t “typical,” then you probably won’t make it on the show. Let’s be honest, the deaf girl was nowhere near as good as most of the people they get. The only reason they kept her for anything was because she’s deaf and made Mary cry. Any hearing person who danced like that, they wouldn’t have given a second glance at. They would have told them to get stronger and come back again. The show isn’t called So You Have A Disability But Still Want to Dance on TV. For all things, there is a bar. To be in the Olympics, you have to reach, if not surpass, that bar. If you’re missing a leg and can’t run as fast as someone with 2 legs, they’re not going to give you a head start and a gold medal so your feelings don’t get hurt. They’re going to say, you’re too slow.
Aside from my tantrum, I’m not sure if I like the one hour a night try out show. They only show 3 or 4 actual dances which only include 1 or 2 actual dancers and whatever freaks they find. It’s turning into American Idol.
Glee
Loved it. Love the music. Love the jokes. Love the sarcasm. Love the one liners. Don’t even care that half the episodes make no sense whatsoever. My favorite part was definitely when the Dakota guy came and made fun of them all. Reminded me of Bring it On with the Fossee wannabee I loved.
“Here are your detailed menus for the month.”
“Mine only says “coffee””
Oh Steve Yoder if you could watch this show.
And “Acafellas”? You know I’m a sucker for words that combine 2 words.
The only thing I don’t like about Glee is the new mom and dad. Useless. Except Josh Groban saying he loves a blowsey drunk.
OMG that gym teacher/cheerleading coach. “I want a fog machine” Maybe I like this show so much because I love joke tellers who don’t laugh at their own jokes. People who can keep a straight face while saying hilarious things impress me.
Not to be Politically Incorrect or socially rude, but having a disability (in dance: being fat, deaf, blind, in a style of dance that isn’t aesthetically pleasing, etc) shouldn’t give you any leeway in competition. If you’re deaf and you have average technique, then you need to work on your technique. If you’re fat and that affects your ability to move freely and easily, then you need to work on your weight. If you’re style of dance isn’t “typical,” then you probably won’t make it on the show. Let’s be honest, the deaf girl was nowhere near as good as most of the people they get. The only reason they kept her for anything was because she’s deaf and made Mary cry. Any hearing person who danced like that, they wouldn’t have given a second glance at. They would have told them to get stronger and come back again. The show isn’t called So You Have A Disability But Still Want to Dance on TV. For all things, there is a bar. To be in the Olympics, you have to reach, if not surpass, that bar. If you’re missing a leg and can’t run as fast as someone with 2 legs, they’re not going to give you a head start and a gold medal so your feelings don’t get hurt. They’re going to say, you’re too slow.
Aside from my tantrum, I’m not sure if I like the one hour a night try out show. They only show 3 or 4 actual dances which only include 1 or 2 actual dancers and whatever freaks they find. It’s turning into American Idol.
Glee
Loved it. Love the music. Love the jokes. Love the sarcasm. Love the one liners. Don’t even care that half the episodes make no sense whatsoever. My favorite part was definitely when the Dakota guy came and made fun of them all. Reminded me of Bring it On with the Fossee wannabee I loved.
“Here are your detailed menus for the month.”
“Mine only says “coffee””
Oh Steve Yoder if you could watch this show.
And “Acafellas”? You know I’m a sucker for words that combine 2 words.
The only thing I don’t like about Glee is the new mom and dad. Useless. Except Josh Groban saying he loves a blowsey drunk.
OMG that gym teacher/cheerleading coach. “I want a fog machine” Maybe I like this show so much because I love joke tellers who don’t laugh at their own jokes. People who can keep a straight face while saying hilarious things impress me.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
At work. How cliche
Can you tell me the name of your human resources manager?
JK
OK And what is her job title?
...
I would like a flight from 9/26 to 10/02
Here is flight information for 9/26 to 10/02 Can I book this flight?
Yes
(4 hours later)
Oh wait I meant 9/28 not 9/26 Please change everything.
I do believe that Michelle Duggar wants all those kids. I do believe that she is as happy as she says she is about being pregnant 47 times. However, I cannot wrap my educated mind around her saying she was surprised she got pregnant again.
Really? 18 kids and you’re surprised?
Then I thought, maybe their lifestyle/religion doesn’t know the physics of where babies come from. Maybe she thought God was done with her uterus and decided to stop despite their unprotected sex continuing. Bless her heart, I think she’s doing a fabulous job for what she has and for what she believes, but there is no way on this green earth she was surprised she got pregnant again.
When you type “Obama” into Google, it fills in with “called Kanye West a Jackass”
I also love how no one is really disagreeing with his statement, rather, whether or not the President should be allowed to behave as and have opinions as a human being. Although, I will agree with the point Lisa made on the radio this morning, “The question was what did Obama’s daughters feel about the whole thing, not what did Obama feel about it.” I really feel like I’m missing out on this whole issue because I can’t listen to NPR anymore. And because I don’t have copious amounts of free time in which to watch The Daily Show. Damn you full time job! My favorite is definitely 50 Cent’s (I believe) comment on the whole thing. To type it out is useless because the audio of him is priceless. Essentially, he said he wished Kanye had down that to him so he could punch him in the face. Love it.
As a side note, posting off the record information to be used as slander is irreprehensible. Thankfully, approx. 93% of the world agree with Obama’s comment and apparently, like him all the more for it.
Aside from this, I hope no one can hear me swearing on the phone.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I love Grey's Anatomy Season 2
Life (and other fail blog moments)
Monday I needed gas, but I didn’t get it Monday night. It was $2.49. Tuesday morning I needed gas, but I didn’t get it. It was $2.49. Tuesday after work I couldn’t drive another 200 yards without getting gas. I got gas. It was $2.54. Tuesday 4 hours after work I didn’t need gas. It was $2.49 again.
Fail.
I take 3 freeways to work in the morning. I am easily distracted. I noticed my exit would be coming up in 2 ¾ miles. 3 miles later, I noticed things looked different. So I watched for 2 miles to see if I had passed my exit or not. Indeed I had. I turned around and everything was fine. I was running late though. In fear of missing my exists again, I got into the right lane very early and was driving 30mph. Frown face. I made it to my final exit with approx. 5 minutes to spare. I was then stopped at every possible (and there are only 2) red light. At my turn, I was waiting for traffic when the car in the left turn lane in front of me (and by “car” I mean semi) decided they were going to go back into the driving lane right when traffic opened up to let me turn.
Fail.
I was expecting my old job would direct deposit my final check. I went to my online account and was excited to see the money, but it wasn’t there and my account was $500 lower than I’m used to.
Fail.
Monday I needed gas, but I didn’t get it Monday night. It was $2.49. Tuesday morning I needed gas, but I didn’t get it. It was $2.49. Tuesday after work I couldn’t drive another 200 yards without getting gas. I got gas. It was $2.54. Tuesday 4 hours after work I didn’t need gas. It was $2.49 again.
Fail.
I take 3 freeways to work in the morning. I am easily distracted. I noticed my exit would be coming up in 2 ¾ miles. 3 miles later, I noticed things looked different. So I watched for 2 miles to see if I had passed my exit or not. Indeed I had. I turned around and everything was fine. I was running late though. In fear of missing my exists again, I got into the right lane very early and was driving 30mph. Frown face. I made it to my final exit with approx. 5 minutes to spare. I was then stopped at every possible (and there are only 2) red light. At my turn, I was waiting for traffic when the car in the left turn lane in front of me (and by “car” I mean semi) decided they were going to go back into the driving lane right when traffic opened up to let me turn.
Fail.
I was expecting my old job would direct deposit my final check. I went to my online account and was excited to see the money, but it wasn’t there and my account was $500 lower than I’m used to.
Fail.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Too much September
Top 5 all time favorite Grey’s Anatomy episodes based on the moments in them:
5. Season 2
4. The one in season 3 when the ferry explodes
3. The one in Season 2 (I think) when the trains collided and the old black man and the young girl were impaled with the tree or something and they have to quit working on the girl because the guy has a better chance to live and Meredith is screaming they can’t leave her behind.
2. The one in season 3 after Denny dies and Burke loses his hand and he tells Izzie “You are not fine. I am not fine.”
1. The one in season 2 when Christina can’t stop crying after her abortion.
Possible responses to an old man telling you you are putting people out of a job by using the self check out lanes:
*Kroger doesn’t pay union wages. Just standing here makes you a communist.
*Do YOU realize that you’re putting chefs out of work by cooking that food yourself?
*Do you realize children of farmers can’t afford shoes because you’re shopping at a chain grocery store instead of a farmer’s market?
*Being old doesn’t give you the right to hassle people.
The radio was talking about how or if you can say something to parents with ridiculously overweight kids. I think the answer is no. Then a guy called in and said fat people used to make comments about his skinny kids and how they need to put some meat on their bones. I think that’s inappropriate, too. One of the radio guys made the excellent observation that people with addictions like to be around other people with addictions. Either as a way to connect or as a way to not feel so bad. Like they’re not alone. Or possibly as a taking-you-down-with-me. Or maybe I just can’t word what he said correctly.
The neighbors spent the end of summer playing water guns or some other shooting game late at night. They would run across our lawn and mostly across the path in front of the window. It irritated the dog. I wanted to yell at them that it was too late (dusk) to be running and shooting directly in front of our front window. Based on this observation, I imagine I will be the crotchety old woman who steals your ball when it goes on my lawn.
5. Season 2
4. The one in season 3 when the ferry explodes
3. The one in Season 2 (I think) when the trains collided and the old black man and the young girl were impaled with the tree or something and they have to quit working on the girl because the guy has a better chance to live and Meredith is screaming they can’t leave her behind.
2. The one in season 3 after Denny dies and Burke loses his hand and he tells Izzie “You are not fine. I am not fine.”
1. The one in season 2 when Christina can’t stop crying after her abortion.
Possible responses to an old man telling you you are putting people out of a job by using the self check out lanes:
*Kroger doesn’t pay union wages. Just standing here makes you a communist.
*Do YOU realize that you’re putting chefs out of work by cooking that food yourself?
*Do you realize children of farmers can’t afford shoes because you’re shopping at a chain grocery store instead of a farmer’s market?
*Being old doesn’t give you the right to hassle people.
The radio was talking about how or if you can say something to parents with ridiculously overweight kids. I think the answer is no. Then a guy called in and said fat people used to make comments about his skinny kids and how they need to put some meat on their bones. I think that’s inappropriate, too. One of the radio guys made the excellent observation that people with addictions like to be around other people with addictions. Either as a way to connect or as a way to not feel so bad. Like they’re not alone. Or possibly as a taking-you-down-with-me. Or maybe I just can’t word what he said correctly.
The neighbors spent the end of summer playing water guns or some other shooting game late at night. They would run across our lawn and mostly across the path in front of the window. It irritated the dog. I wanted to yell at them that it was too late (dusk) to be running and shooting directly in front of our front window. Based on this observation, I imagine I will be the crotchety old woman who steals your ball when it goes on my lawn.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
As heard on Dr. Phil
I would just like to say that teenagers who soak tampons in vodka or give themselves beer enemas... if they die... oh well. Just clearin' the path for someone who might actually cure cancer.
I quit my job. I have never been so relieved.
I start my new job Monday. I have been more scared, will less riding on my ability to do well.
I love my boyfriend.
My dog's breath smells.
(But I love her, too)
I quit my job. I have never been so relieved.
I start my new job Monday. I have been more scared, will less riding on my ability to do well.
I love my boyfriend.
My dog's breath smells.
(But I love her, too)
Monday, August 17, 2009
Caramel Bear
Things women do better than men:
They’re better managers in this economy. Better multi-taskers, better listeners, better organizers, etc.
Women live longer
Stronger immune systems
Women eat healthier foods
Women graduate college more often and quicker than men
More recession-proof (more men are losing their jobs than women)
Better at getting comfort. Women talk to their friends about what’s bothering them
Survive car accidents more often than men
Women evolve to be more attractive
(taken from 89x who took it from something online, I'm sure.)
Have I mentioned that I hate it when people say, "what are you going to do?" after you tell them something with static results. "I got laid off" "What are you going to do?" I think that question should actually be: "What am I going to do with you?" because, really, that's what they're sayin'. No one cares what you're actually going to do, or how it's actually going to affect you. They care how it's going to affect them.
They’re better managers in this economy. Better multi-taskers, better listeners, better organizers, etc.
Women live longer
Stronger immune systems
Women eat healthier foods
Women graduate college more often and quicker than men
More recession-proof (more men are losing their jobs than women)
Better at getting comfort. Women talk to their friends about what’s bothering them
Survive car accidents more often than men
Women evolve to be more attractive
(taken from 89x who took it from something online, I'm sure.)
Have I mentioned that I hate it when people say, "what are you going to do?" after you tell them something with static results. "I got laid off" "What are you going to do?" I think that question should actually be: "What am I going to do with you?" because, really, that's what they're sayin'. No one cares what you're actually going to do, or how it's actually going to affect you. They care how it's going to affect them.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
2 days worth
(taken from 89X listeners)
Things women think are sexy but actually aren’t:
Strip tease – unless you’re an amazing dancer and have a hot body (chances are there’s a reason you’re not doing it professionally)
Balls in your mouth
Steve Bouchemey
Biting hard
Food (whip cream, cherries, etc)
Fishnet stockings
Painted on eyebrows
To much makeup
Lipstick, lip gloss
Colored contacts
Fake things: hair, nails, colors, speech (saying things from movies in romantic moments), tan
Wearing clothes that don’t fit
No underpants
Things men think are sexy that aren’t:
Driving without a shirt on
Cutting the sleeves off of a shirt
Using a “sexy voice” over the phone
Clothes that are too baggy or too tight, being able to see a bulge, being able to see their man boobs
Biting
Dirty talk (sometimes)
Calling a woman “mommie”
Popped collars
Tongue in ear
Penis dancing
Full face, long beards, just the mustache
The soul patch
Licking eye balls
Good things:
Coffee
The huge plagiarism project being easy as opposed to difficult.
My boyfriend.
11.5 oz.s of coffee for $2.50
Taking the time to double check something before asking someone else thus solving my own problem.
The guy next door leaving me candy.
Medium things:
Having lots to do at work (good), but not enough time to do all of it (not good).
Things happening for a reason.
Bad things:
People who don’t double check things before asking you thus making you (unrelated 3rd party) do the grunt work for their lazy ass.
Figuring it would be easier to plagiarize a driving form instead of searching for it cheaper on the internet.
One time at work I was in the bathroom and I heard the bell that someone was here. When I got out of the bathroom, the guy was still there and the only other coworker in the office was sitting at his desk (approx. 10 feet from the door). I asked the guy if he had been helped, he said no, so I talked to him. I hate how my coworker will ignore guests when he feels like it, and other times I’ll be talking to a salesman and just about to get rid of him, when my coworker shows up and basically repeats everything I just said to him. Unnecessary.
The phone rang 3 times, before I answered it which shouldn’t happen with 3 people working. No other line was lit up. Jen complained that Suzie was dicking around checking her personal email and texting; Jen said she was on the phone. Since no other lines were lit up, she was on her cell. Oh my.
9:07am (at work, internal monologue): Man I really want some tacos… volcano nachos! I think I smell tacos and that’s why I want tacos. Why would I suddenly smell tacos? What is the essence of the taco smell? Fresh lettuce and tomatoes with cilantro. Cilantro? Or is it salsa? Combination.
I do honestly believe everything happens for a reason. I do honestly get frustrated when reason has more patience than I do.
Things women think are sexy but actually aren’t:
Strip tease – unless you’re an amazing dancer and have a hot body (chances are there’s a reason you’re not doing it professionally)
Balls in your mouth
Steve Bouchemey
Biting hard
Food (whip cream, cherries, etc)
Fishnet stockings
Painted on eyebrows
To much makeup
Lipstick, lip gloss
Colored contacts
Fake things: hair, nails, colors, speech (saying things from movies in romantic moments), tan
Wearing clothes that don’t fit
No underpants
Things men think are sexy that aren’t:
Driving without a shirt on
Cutting the sleeves off of a shirt
Using a “sexy voice” over the phone
Clothes that are too baggy or too tight, being able to see a bulge, being able to see their man boobs
Biting
Dirty talk (sometimes)
Calling a woman “mommie”
Popped collars
Tongue in ear
Penis dancing
Full face, long beards, just the mustache
The soul patch
Licking eye balls
Good things:
Coffee
The huge plagiarism project being easy as opposed to difficult.
My boyfriend.
11.5 oz.s of coffee for $2.50
Taking the time to double check something before asking someone else thus solving my own problem.
The guy next door leaving me candy.
Medium things:
Having lots to do at work (good), but not enough time to do all of it (not good).
Things happening for a reason.
Bad things:
People who don’t double check things before asking you thus making you (unrelated 3rd party) do the grunt work for their lazy ass.
Figuring it would be easier to plagiarize a driving form instead of searching for it cheaper on the internet.
One time at work I was in the bathroom and I heard the bell that someone was here. When I got out of the bathroom, the guy was still there and the only other coworker in the office was sitting at his desk (approx. 10 feet from the door). I asked the guy if he had been helped, he said no, so I talked to him. I hate how my coworker will ignore guests when he feels like it, and other times I’ll be talking to a salesman and just about to get rid of him, when my coworker shows up and basically repeats everything I just said to him. Unnecessary.
The phone rang 3 times, before I answered it which shouldn’t happen with 3 people working. No other line was lit up. Jen complained that Suzie was dicking around checking her personal email and texting; Jen said she was on the phone. Since no other lines were lit up, she was on her cell. Oh my.
9:07am (at work, internal monologue): Man I really want some tacos… volcano nachos! I think I smell tacos and that’s why I want tacos. Why would I suddenly smell tacos? What is the essence of the taco smell? Fresh lettuce and tomatoes with cilantro. Cilantro? Or is it salsa? Combination.
I do honestly believe everything happens for a reason. I do honestly get frustrated when reason has more patience than I do.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Dear Universe...
I read one of my friend's statuses on Facebook that said he was deleting all the negative things and focusing on the positive. I thought, "that's a good idea" and others agreed by responding to his status. They all sounded very happy. So, I thought I would only post positive things into a universe-ish blog. And that explains the lapse. Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but I just have so little good things that they are squashed down and minimalized even more by the growing negative facts.
So, fuck it. Life is all about balance anyway.
Good things:
"Dear guy with a camper.... go eat a dick."
"If you had told me at 10 I wasn't going to be eating this hot dog until 3, I would have told you to go f- yourself."
"Coffee is like breakfast beer."
My wonderful boyfriend
Hot Doug's
The morbidly obese on TV
Mashed potatoes
Food Network
I cannot possibly say enough nice things to describe my experience at Hot Dougs in Chicago. My boyfriend was amazing. The place was amazing. The food was amazing. IRL Doug was amazing. I could not have asked for more.
Bad things:
My dog caught a baby bunny yesterday and I had to hear the baby bunny scream. It was horrible.
My brother got laid off. Again.
My parents will finalize their divorce around my birthday. As. Per. Usual.
Haven't had a job call me in over a month.
Having ideas for things without having the money to actualize them.
So, Dear Universe,
Figure it out. Please. Thanks,
Me.
So, fuck it. Life is all about balance anyway.
Good things:
"Dear guy with a camper.... go eat a dick."
"If you had told me at 10 I wasn't going to be eating this hot dog until 3, I would have told you to go f- yourself."
"Coffee is like breakfast beer."
My wonderful boyfriend
Hot Doug's
The morbidly obese on TV
Mashed potatoes
Food Network
I cannot possibly say enough nice things to describe my experience at Hot Dougs in Chicago. My boyfriend was amazing. The place was amazing. The food was amazing. IRL Doug was amazing. I could not have asked for more.
Bad things:
My dog caught a baby bunny yesterday and I had to hear the baby bunny scream. It was horrible.
My brother got laid off. Again.
My parents will finalize their divorce around my birthday. As. Per. Usual.
Haven't had a job call me in over a month.
Having ideas for things without having the money to actualize them.
So, Dear Universe,
Figure it out. Please. Thanks,
Me.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Clearly it's a ghost with a whistle!
That's right. I'm not looking for a job and I'm sitting eating potato chips.
So this is parts of my July horoscope off Astrologyzone.com with my comments and current observations:
Hold on to your hat, dear Libra. With two major eclipses due to soon hit the top and bottom houses of your chart, you are about to see some massive changes at home and in your career. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit that you feel you've come to master your present life just fine and you are up for a new adventure. You need change, and that's precisely what the universe is about to bring you.
This is me: holding onto said hat.
If you were born October 7 or within five days of this date, you will feel the July 7 eclipse in a powerful way.
I wasn't.
If your birthday falls closer to October 22, plus or minus five days, you will feel the July 22 eclipse in a powerful way.
Nope.
The first eclipse on July 7 will bring a full moon lunar eclipse to your fourth house, bringing a surprise development concerning a home or family matter or in regard to a pending real estate deal. A full moon always brings a finish. This, being a full moon lunar eclipse, suggests that a female who is attached to your household - a roommate, housekeeper, nanny, or your mother or other female relative - may be leaving or moving away. This is a positive eclipse, for Saturn will be extremely comforting and supportive, ensuring whatever changes you make now will be in place a long time.
There are other ways this lunar eclipse July 7 may affect you. You may need to clear out a space - yours or that of a parent - perhaps because you or your parent is moving, or because you may be doing a refurbishing or reconstruction project. This process of clearing out possessions may make you sentimental as you prepare for the next chapter of your life. That's normal, dear Libra, but unless you do clear out the past you can't get ready for the future. I know, sometimes knowing this doesn't really help very much. You will be quite happy again after this process is completed, so keep that in mind.
Today is July 8th. My mom told me today that I had to clean because a realtor is coming to our hosue to establish the actual value for the divorce.
Elsewhere in your chart, during the first part of July, Mars will put a strong emphasis on your finances in your eighth house of other people's money, credit, taxes, and other such funds. This trend started in late April and has continued through May, so you probably have been spending more lately. Even if you wanted to cut down on your spending, it appeared you weren't too successful at holding the line. Don't worry, however, because this expensive phase is due to end after July 11.
I like the idea of "other people's money" I'm hoping very much that the expensive phase stops because I don't have any of my own money and I have yet to see anyone else's money. Of course I haven't been spending much because I there isn't any money so I'm not totally sure what this is all about.
You will receive a lot of good financial assistance from Mars and Uranus too, specifically (and coincidentally) on the same day as the eclipse, July 7. This day is quite fortunate for gaining a bit of money. If you find you're in the mood to buy a scratch-off lotto ticket, do so just for fun. When it comes to money, you will have the lucky touch on this day. I am not sure if your bundle of cash will be earned, given, loaned, or won. It does look like at least a small amount will find its way to your door near July 7.
Well, July 7th came and I bought a lottery ticket. The Mega Millions (go big or go home, right?) and it lost. It lost without even coming close to being near the numbers. My mom (whose lottery tickets I purchased) won her money back. She spent two of those dollars on a lottery ticket that reminded her of me. It lost. Twice. You know what "bit of money" I gained? 53 cents from change left in the coin collector at Kroger.
Last month you had a new moon in the same area of your chart on June 22, the tenth house of honors, achievement, and fame. If you had an interesting conversation about a new position, or were pitching a new client, or had other fascinating career developments last month, you will be able to bring talks to a new level this month. It's unusual to have two new moons in a row falling in the same part of the chart, but that's what we have here. To have one new moon be a solar eclipse is even more unusual. This is good news, because if you are serious about changing your job, this solar eclipse will open a path. Solar eclipses are quite exciting!
In all honesty, I did go on a job interview last month within 2 days of that date. So I'll keep on employment searching.
Along with other changes you may make on the job, there will be other shifts taking place around you. A high level boss, most likely a male, may announce that he's leaving the firm, much to everyone's amazement. This will be someone you report to, not a co-worker, and someone you probably thought was a permanent fixture of the company. This person may leave on his own volition or will be forced out. Your job could easily change as a result. You may be wondering why I say this will be a "male." An eclipse of the Sun always points to a masculine person, and because this eclipse is happening in your tenth house of fame and career status, it would be an authority figure at your office who will be "eclipsed out" of your life.
INTERESTING!
It looks as though one of your friends will be instrumental in your success, and I say this because the Sun rules your eleventh house of friendship. Someone you know may give you a tip that leads you to a stunning opportunity. If you belong to a club, this group may also be helpful. Even if you find you are forced to look for a job this month (and I am not saying that will be the case, but if this is true for you), don't bemoan your situation - the universe will be doing you a favor. You are moving toward a much better situation.
SO If anyone has any tips, I'll grab a note pad and a pen.
It's best if you initiate the changes. Changes emanating from within you are often more organic, stemming from dreams and wishes that reside deep inside you. Having said that, I will admit that sometimes interesting offers do stem from the outside, too. They send us down new paths, ones that we would never investigate any other way and they help us develop latent talents. So actually, the more I think about it, all sorts of changes, no matter where they emanate from, are valuable. Fortunately you are a cardinal air sign, so you are one to embrace all that is new. Good, dear Libra!
I suppose all I'm really taking from my horoscope this month is the idea of change. I will do something each day that is out of the norm for me in situation, routine, or experience. Do one thing every day that scares you. Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.
The weekend of July 18-19 should be stellar, what with the moon in Gemini on Friday night and all day Saturday, and the Sun getting golden beams from surprise-a-minute Uranus. Wow!
I'll keep you posted.
PS
As documentation, I predict JD will move September 19-22 +/- 3 days.
If I win, he buys me soup at Big Boy.
If he wins, (and I have a full time job) I'll buy him breakfast at the Lyon Grill.
So this is parts of my July horoscope off Astrologyzone.com with my comments and current observations:
Hold on to your hat, dear Libra. With two major eclipses due to soon hit the top and bottom houses of your chart, you are about to see some massive changes at home and in your career. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit that you feel you've come to master your present life just fine and you are up for a new adventure. You need change, and that's precisely what the universe is about to bring you.
This is me: holding onto said hat.
If you were born October 7 or within five days of this date, you will feel the July 7 eclipse in a powerful way.
I wasn't.
If your birthday falls closer to October 22, plus or minus five days, you will feel the July 22 eclipse in a powerful way.
Nope.
The first eclipse on July 7 will bring a full moon lunar eclipse to your fourth house, bringing a surprise development concerning a home or family matter or in regard to a pending real estate deal. A full moon always brings a finish. This, being a full moon lunar eclipse, suggests that a female who is attached to your household - a roommate, housekeeper, nanny, or your mother or other female relative - may be leaving or moving away. This is a positive eclipse, for Saturn will be extremely comforting and supportive, ensuring whatever changes you make now will be in place a long time.
There are other ways this lunar eclipse July 7 may affect you. You may need to clear out a space - yours or that of a parent - perhaps because you or your parent is moving, or because you may be doing a refurbishing or reconstruction project. This process of clearing out possessions may make you sentimental as you prepare for the next chapter of your life. That's normal, dear Libra, but unless you do clear out the past you can't get ready for the future. I know, sometimes knowing this doesn't really help very much. You will be quite happy again after this process is completed, so keep that in mind.
Today is July 8th. My mom told me today that I had to clean because a realtor is coming to our hosue to establish the actual value for the divorce.
Elsewhere in your chart, during the first part of July, Mars will put a strong emphasis on your finances in your eighth house of other people's money, credit, taxes, and other such funds. This trend started in late April and has continued through May, so you probably have been spending more lately. Even if you wanted to cut down on your spending, it appeared you weren't too successful at holding the line. Don't worry, however, because this expensive phase is due to end after July 11.
I like the idea of "other people's money" I'm hoping very much that the expensive phase stops because I don't have any of my own money and I have yet to see anyone else's money. Of course I haven't been spending much because I there isn't any money so I'm not totally sure what this is all about.
You will receive a lot of good financial assistance from Mars and Uranus too, specifically (and coincidentally) on the same day as the eclipse, July 7. This day is quite fortunate for gaining a bit of money. If you find you're in the mood to buy a scratch-off lotto ticket, do so just for fun. When it comes to money, you will have the lucky touch on this day. I am not sure if your bundle of cash will be earned, given, loaned, or won. It does look like at least a small amount will find its way to your door near July 7.
Well, July 7th came and I bought a lottery ticket. The Mega Millions (go big or go home, right?) and it lost. It lost without even coming close to being near the numbers. My mom (whose lottery tickets I purchased) won her money back. She spent two of those dollars on a lottery ticket that reminded her of me. It lost. Twice. You know what "bit of money" I gained? 53 cents from change left in the coin collector at Kroger.
Last month you had a new moon in the same area of your chart on June 22, the tenth house of honors, achievement, and fame. If you had an interesting conversation about a new position, or were pitching a new client, or had other fascinating career developments last month, you will be able to bring talks to a new level this month. It's unusual to have two new moons in a row falling in the same part of the chart, but that's what we have here. To have one new moon be a solar eclipse is even more unusual. This is good news, because if you are serious about changing your job, this solar eclipse will open a path. Solar eclipses are quite exciting!
In all honesty, I did go on a job interview last month within 2 days of that date. So I'll keep on employment searching.
Along with other changes you may make on the job, there will be other shifts taking place around you. A high level boss, most likely a male, may announce that he's leaving the firm, much to everyone's amazement. This will be someone you report to, not a co-worker, and someone you probably thought was a permanent fixture of the company. This person may leave on his own volition or will be forced out. Your job could easily change as a result. You may be wondering why I say this will be a "male." An eclipse of the Sun always points to a masculine person, and because this eclipse is happening in your tenth house of fame and career status, it would be an authority figure at your office who will be "eclipsed out" of your life.
INTERESTING!
It looks as though one of your friends will be instrumental in your success, and I say this because the Sun rules your eleventh house of friendship. Someone you know may give you a tip that leads you to a stunning opportunity. If you belong to a club, this group may also be helpful. Even if you find you are forced to look for a job this month (and I am not saying that will be the case, but if this is true for you), don't bemoan your situation - the universe will be doing you a favor. You are moving toward a much better situation.
SO If anyone has any tips, I'll grab a note pad and a pen.
It's best if you initiate the changes. Changes emanating from within you are often more organic, stemming from dreams and wishes that reside deep inside you. Having said that, I will admit that sometimes interesting offers do stem from the outside, too. They send us down new paths, ones that we would never investigate any other way and they help us develop latent talents. So actually, the more I think about it, all sorts of changes, no matter where they emanate from, are valuable. Fortunately you are a cardinal air sign, so you are one to embrace all that is new. Good, dear Libra!
I suppose all I'm really taking from my horoscope this month is the idea of change. I will do something each day that is out of the norm for me in situation, routine, or experience. Do one thing every day that scares you. Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.
The weekend of July 18-19 should be stellar, what with the moon in Gemini on Friday night and all day Saturday, and the Sun getting golden beams from surprise-a-minute Uranus. Wow!
I'll keep you posted.
PS
As documentation, I predict JD will move September 19-22 +/- 3 days.
If I win, he buys me soup at Big Boy.
If he wins, (and I have a full time job) I'll buy him breakfast at the Lyon Grill.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
You're not cool unless you pee yoru pants
Yesterday I stopped to listen to the valedictorian speech from one of the local high schools on the public station. It was awful. I may have missed the beginning, but I believe he said that he was comparing his actual high school experience to the high schools in his favorite “childhood movies” Which included: Fast Time and Ridgemont High, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, etc. My problem with this is that kids graduating from high school in 2009 were born in 1991 and all of those movies came out in the 80’s. The people in those movies have kids older than the graduating class of 2009. Why you gotta be frontin’? Those are not movies from your childhood. You weren’t even born yet. Acceptable movies from your childhood would be: She’s All That, Clueless, Cruel Intentions, Dead Man On Campus, Bring it On, etc.
Today at work, Santa called and showed up on the caller ID. How bad are times that Santa needs a part time job?
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Dream me is sexually frustrated
I was having a sex dream with my dream boss's dream husband. We had a nice foreplay of drawing on eachother with crayons (unbelievably hot, how weird) and we were just about to have sex when my alarm went off. I had to wait listening to country music (because it's the only station I get) until I could wake up from REM sleep to push snooze and then not go back to my dream.
Then I turned on the news; Derek VanDam always makes my morning better. But it's not time for the weather and instead I get the guy I don't really like telling me about some shooting or fire or something in Saginaw. Ok, fine, this is why I don't like the news, whatever. Newscaster goes into who has died in the war today. OK another reason why I don't watch the news, fine, though, I need to put a shirt on and Derek needs to tell me what to wear.. I'm still waiting for the weather. Newscaster --literally-- begins a montage of who has died in 2006. It's 6 o'clock in the morning. I don't need to know everyone who had died today, yesterday, and the past year this early. You've gotta let me get some OJ before making me think life is worthless.
All my days have such potential for not sucking and then whoops my dream sex gets interrupted and instead of the weather I get a wake, my boss tells me instead of 15 hours of work this week, I only get 5.
When I was a kid, they called me "Whiner 49er" I bet you're wondering why.
Today at work, Santa called and showed up on the caller ID. How bad are times that Santa needs a part time job?
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Dream me is sexually frustrated
I was having a sex dream with my dream boss's dream husband. We had a nice foreplay of drawing on eachother with crayons (unbelievably hot, how weird) and we were just about to have sex when my alarm went off. I had to wait listening to country music (because it's the only station I get) until I could wake up from REM sleep to push snooze and then not go back to my dream.
Then I turned on the news; Derek VanDam always makes my morning better. But it's not time for the weather and instead I get the guy I don't really like telling me about some shooting or fire or something in Saginaw. Ok, fine, this is why I don't like the news, whatever. Newscaster goes into who has died in the war today. OK another reason why I don't watch the news, fine, though, I need to put a shirt on and Derek needs to tell me what to wear.. I'm still waiting for the weather. Newscaster --literally-- begins a montage of who has died in 2006. It's 6 o'clock in the morning. I don't need to know everyone who had died today, yesterday, and the past year this early. You've gotta let me get some OJ before making me think life is worthless.
All my days have such potential for not sucking and then whoops my dream sex gets interrupted and instead of the weather I get a wake, my boss tells me instead of 15 hours of work this week, I only get 5.
When I was a kid, they called me "Whiner 49er" I bet you're wondering why.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Pros and Cons Paragraph?
In exact measures, how stupid would I be to pass up a job offer this month for a potentially better offer next month… based on my horoscope? It’s a risky move. The horoscope is right about 40% of the time, maybe. I don’t calculate all instances. But when it’s right, it seems to be dead on. I guess the better question is, how long can I financially survive on 20 hours a week? I’ll find out tomorrow when my direct deposit goes through. Theoretically, I’ll be making half what I did at 40 hours so… very little. Very little times four equals less than my monthly bills cost (before gas and food). Oh sigh. If I spent $800 last month, and I spend $800 this month and next month, I probably won’t need to get into my savings until month 3. I find it rather unlikely I can only spend $800 a month for the next couple months. I guess it’s possible. I’ve done it before. It just sucks. But what sucks more: operating on as little as possible or driving through Detroit everyday? I would get to buy a GPS, new shoes, and a couple new shirts while still paying all my bills and saving money. I might get fat. I might get mugged. I might get my car with my new GPS and my new shoes stolen. But at least it’s not a lateral move.
Friday, June 19, 2009
No good news
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
The flashlight is on the speakers
I threw my Nalgene away with the diapers at work today. I went back later and fished it out of the garbage. Gentlemen, please, one at a time. There is enough of my awesomeness to go around.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
I want you to know why story-truth is truer sometimes than happening truth.
This is a true story about my daycare boss, Polly.
She needed to get a battery for her [or someone else's car] she called Napa, got Jeff, told me about it. I told her Jeff is a character. More things were said. I told her about how he tried to leave a girl, drunk, in the middle of a field because she wouldn't leave him alone. Polly goes into a story and these are her (very close to) exact words: (I love that I am a writer. "You writer types, you've got long memories." -Tim O'Brien):
I had some younger friends. I don't know why I call them younger, they were my brother's age (two years younger than I am) but back then they just felt really young. Anyway, we all got drunk at this party and I was about 21 so I was still new at getting drunk. And anyway, I went out for a ride with my brother's friend and he took me to this field and said if I didn't... (do it) he would leave me there. So, I did it! And it was great! I still remember the song on the radio [names the song]. Oh gosh, it was great.
WHO TELLS PEOPLE THESE THINGS?!
Really, though, I love that she tells me things like this because my peer group of friends don't tell me about the inappropriate sex they have. Oddly enough.
It made me kinda sad, though; I'm 22 and I have no oh my god it was amazing sex stories. I feel like I'm missing my prime years. Don't misunderstand me, I've had sex, and it was good, but where's my crawling on the floor "I can't believe that just happened!" stories? No making out in the rain. No making out in a car. Would you do it on a train? Well, Dr. Seuss, I never have.
Life update: I have.
The flashlight is on the speakers
I threw my Nalgene away with the diapers at work today. I went back later and fished it out of the garbage. Gentlemen, please, one at a time. There is enough of my awesomeness to go around.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
I want you to know why story-truth is truer sometimes than happening truth.
This is a true story about my daycare boss, Polly.
She needed to get a battery for her [or someone else's car] she called Napa, got Jeff, told me about it. I told her Jeff is a character. More things were said. I told her about how he tried to leave a girl, drunk, in the middle of a field because she wouldn't leave him alone. Polly goes into a story and these are her (very close to) exact words: (I love that I am a writer. "You writer types, you've got long memories." -Tim O'Brien):
I had some younger friends. I don't know why I call them younger, they were my brother's age (two years younger than I am) but back then they just felt really young. Anyway, we all got drunk at this party and I was about 21 so I was still new at getting drunk. And anyway, I went out for a ride with my brother's friend and he took me to this field and said if I didn't... (do it) he would leave me there. So, I did it! And it was great! I still remember the song on the radio [names the song]. Oh gosh, it was great.
WHO TELLS PEOPLE THESE THINGS?!
Really, though, I love that she tells me things like this because my peer group of friends don't tell me about the inappropriate sex they have. Oddly enough.
It made me kinda sad, though; I'm 22 and I have no oh my god it was amazing sex stories. I feel like I'm missing my prime years. Don't misunderstand me, I've had sex, and it was good, but where's my crawling on the floor "I can't believe that just happened!" stories? No making out in the rain. No making out in a car. Would you do it on a train? Well, Dr. Seuss, I never have.
Life update: I have.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Someone play the numbers: 532 or 0532 and then give me half the money
Number of jobs applied to today: 2. Fail. I updated my resume on all the sites though.
Since I feel like a life failure, I'm pasting old Myspace blog entries.
Friday July 21, 2006
I B&E'd my apartment today.
"Three juice boxes for six kids? It's gonna be like Lord of the Flies out there!"
But this is funnier.
November 14, 2006
I'm pretty sure the purpose of the GRE is not to show how smart you are, but how much you'll study for a chance at higher education. Or, perhaps, its purpose is to simply weed out those who are not willing to feel like a complete moron for 3 months before taking a 4 hour exam that they had to pay (lots of) money for.
One of the 2, man one of the 2.
Also, how does it happen that you hate someone for something they did to someone else? You know what I mean. You see someone and immediately you think, "Ew I hate them" and then wonder why. Hate by association, is it really worth it? I think so. Because really, how many people do you need to be kind to? Eventually the kindness runs out and you become a horrible person. So, in conclusion, you have to hate some people for no reason so you can like others for no reason. It's all about balance.
P.S. I think I just saw BGJ going into the woman's bathroom. That is so cheating.
P.P.S. false alarm.
Believe me, it gets better.
Since I feel like a life failure, I'm pasting old Myspace blog entries.
Friday July 21, 2006
I B&E'd my apartment today.
"Three juice boxes for six kids? It's gonna be like Lord of the Flies out there!"
But this is funnier.
November 14, 2006
I'm pretty sure the purpose of the GRE is not to show how smart you are, but how much you'll study for a chance at higher education. Or, perhaps, its purpose is to simply weed out those who are not willing to feel like a complete moron for 3 months before taking a 4 hour exam that they had to pay (lots of) money for.
One of the 2, man one of the 2.
Also, how does it happen that you hate someone for something they did to someone else? You know what I mean. You see someone and immediately you think, "Ew I hate them" and then wonder why. Hate by association, is it really worth it? I think so. Because really, how many people do you need to be kind to? Eventually the kindness runs out and you become a horrible person. So, in conclusion, you have to hate some people for no reason so you can like others for no reason. It's all about balance.
P.S. I think I just saw BGJ going into the woman's bathroom. That is so cheating.
P.P.S. false alarm.
Believe me, it gets better.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sacrifice is the name of the game
Time spent at a paying job: 5 hrs
Time spent working out: 1 hr
Number of better/another paying jobs applied for: IIII
I now work 20 hrs/week so 3 of us can stay on teh payroll. They laid off approx. 10 employees. It wasn't a fabulous day.
Life fail moment: Not that money existed for this to happen, but if I had gotten my Master's in English (or anything for that matter) I could teach it. Not that I'd want to teach it. But I'd have a job that would pay decent and that would be good.
SYTYCD commentary:
First, general notes.It is widely obvious to me that the producers chose dancers who could improve. They picked fabulously mediocre dancers who will, throughout the season, become better and better. I’m not totally sure why they did this, but my guess is ratings. America can’t dance. America doesn’t understand dancing. America doesn’t want to vote for the “best” dancer. They want to vote for the dancer they like the most. That’s why Benji won. That’s why the douchebag hip hop dancer stayed on longer than his fabulous partner. It appears they’ve given up on finding phenomenal dancers.Nigel rarely said anything about the actual dancers or their performances. He frequently referred back to previous seasons and their dancers/dances. This is less for nostalgic reasons than for the fact that he knows they didn’t pick the best dancers. But he can’t say, “I expected you to dance that piece with minimal effort because you are a minimally talented dancer. Good job.”
Sadly, I can't find the actual dances online anymore so I'll just say this: Wade was the best.
Time spent working out: 1 hr
Number of better/another paying jobs applied for: IIII
I now work 20 hrs/week so 3 of us can stay on teh payroll. They laid off approx. 10 employees. It wasn't a fabulous day.
Life fail moment: Not that money existed for this to happen, but if I had gotten my Master's in English (or anything for that matter) I could teach it. Not that I'd want to teach it. But I'd have a job that would pay decent and that would be good.
SYTYCD commentary:
First, general notes.It is widely obvious to me that the producers chose dancers who could improve. They picked fabulously mediocre dancers who will, throughout the season, become better and better. I’m not totally sure why they did this, but my guess is ratings. America can’t dance. America doesn’t understand dancing. America doesn’t want to vote for the “best” dancer. They want to vote for the dancer they like the most. That’s why Benji won. That’s why the douchebag hip hop dancer stayed on longer than his fabulous partner. It appears they’ve given up on finding phenomenal dancers.Nigel rarely said anything about the actual dancers or their performances. He frequently referred back to previous seasons and their dancers/dances. This is less for nostalgic reasons than for the fact that he knows they didn’t pick the best dancers. But he can’t say, “I expected you to dance that piece with minimal effort because you are a minimally talented dancer. Good job.”
Sadly, I can't find the actual dances online anymore so I'll just say this: Wade was the best.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Only one natural disaster at a time, please
Today, one of the salesmen asked me to "patch" them "over" and it remided me of the time Hank told me he had someone "on the horn." I giggled about that for quick some time.
At Wal-Mart, I saw a small child in a cart playing with his mom's wallet. He had opened the coin receptacle and was pulling out change then dropping it on the floor. His mom took back her wallet, picked up the coins from the ground, took the change he was still holding away from him, and put it all back in her purse. Despite that, the child was still reaching, trying to get the coins back. He wasn't fussing or whining, just stretching his arm out to get the wallet back.
I don't think anyone ever stops doing that.
Man hitting on me at the park: jeans; tee-shirt; mid to late thirties; one divorce (no kids); creepy face; hand waving downward so that if I don't respond it's because I didn't see his hand, not because I'm not interested.
Me being hit on at the park: black yoga pants, one size too large; neutral tan tank top (racerback); sunglasses taking up 1/5 of my face; earbuds; noticed waving hand and chose to ignore it because I'm not interested.
At Wal-Mart, I saw a small child in a cart playing with his mom's wallet. He had opened the coin receptacle and was pulling out change then dropping it on the floor. His mom took back her wallet, picked up the coins from the ground, took the change he was still holding away from him, and put it all back in her purse. Despite that, the child was still reaching, trying to get the coins back. He wasn't fussing or whining, just stretching his arm out to get the wallet back.
I don't think anyone ever stops doing that.
Man hitting on me at the park: jeans; tee-shirt; mid to late thirties; one divorce (no kids); creepy face; hand waving downward so that if I don't respond it's because I didn't see his hand, not because I'm not interested.
Me being hit on at the park: black yoga pants, one size too large; neutral tan tank top (racerback); sunglasses taking up 1/5 of my face; earbuds; noticed waving hand and chose to ignore it because I'm not interested.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
unmoved by Snickers campaign
So, my horoscope said I would be in a pissy mood on and around the full moon this Sunday. Honestly, I don't blame me. My foot has a fungus on the bottom, and a gash from a chainsaw on the top. I got whitening toothpaste in my eye. My job sucks like everyone's job sucks. I don't work full time, and I'm treated like a helper monkey. Generally speaking anything that occurs as a result of my dad leaving my mom ranges on a mood scale of unpleasant to emotionally devastating. The garage sale purge is about a 4. The idea of father's day in 2 weeks is about a 7. The idea of the anniversary next week is about an 11.
For about a year I've done everything I can to stay busy. I schedule my day as much as possible so I don't have to stop. I don't want to stop. I need the focus. All week I've felt like I just can't do it. And then I feel guilty for being lazy. Every little thing has been slowing me down lately.
I can't look forward without thinking about how I got here.
it just sucks
For about a year I've done everything I can to stay busy. I schedule my day as much as possible so I don't have to stop. I don't want to stop. I need the focus. All week I've felt like I just can't do it. And then I feel guilty for being lazy. Every little thing has been slowing me down lately.
I can't look forward without thinking about how I got here.
it just sucks
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Hair kisses
Ashleymadison.com
They were talking about this on the radio.
>While I was visiting Sarrah this weekend, I explained why most of my conversations start with “I heard on the radio…” because the only communication I have most days is through listening to the radio. Other days, it’s JD.<
Is this a good idea? Obviously. It’s making money.When the guy compared it to alcohol and gambling… I had to agree. Cheating is a decision you make whether the site is available or not. Cheating happened before the site existed. It makes cheating easier, definitely. But the internet has had the same affect on every other aspect of life in the same way. It would have been a challenge to buy an authentic Korean teapot in 1950. You’d have to go to Korea. Now, you go on ebay. “Because of your site, my marriage is over.” It’s not because of the site. It’s because of the marriage. Is it immoral to help someone do something immoral? I guess it depends on your conscience. Who is the quality control group for the website? How do you even do that job?The majority of affairs happen in the workplace. I wonder if anyone at ashleymadison has cheated on someone with their coworker. Irony.
Would you be able to tell someone that their significant other wasn’t a good match for them?No. I tend to keep friends around who can handle themselves and their decisions, so if they want to make a huge mistake, they’ll make it and they’ll learn from it. I might think it’s a bad idea, but I’m more likely to suggest reconsideration then to flat out say, “dump him.” And in the end, whether you say something or you say nothing, people are going to do what they want to do. They’ll stay or they’ll break up and you opinion still means squat. I see my friends associate themselves with people or situations that aren’t the best; the only thing you can say is, “are you sure this is what you want to be doing? Have you considered what will happen if it all goes horribly wrong?” Plus, I’ve made terrible decisions; I have no right to tell someone else not to do something. The education doesn’t matter. Personal learning experiences count for nothing in other people’s lives. It will bother me when people start lying, though. I’ll call them out on that. I got into a fight with my roommate once because she wanted to marry the guy she was dating and he was still seeing his ex-fiancé. She didn’t see that if he was lying to another woman, he was probably lying to her as well. There’s a difference between making a mistake with full knowledge, and lying to yourself. I’ve lost friends because they picked crazy. Oh well. If you pick lies over truth then we’re probably not going to get along very well anyway.
They were talking about this on the radio.
>While I was visiting Sarrah this weekend, I explained why most of my conversations start with “I heard on the radio…” because the only communication I have most days is through listening to the radio. Other days, it’s JD.<
Is this a good idea? Obviously. It’s making money.When the guy compared it to alcohol and gambling… I had to agree. Cheating is a decision you make whether the site is available or not. Cheating happened before the site existed. It makes cheating easier, definitely. But the internet has had the same affect on every other aspect of life in the same way. It would have been a challenge to buy an authentic Korean teapot in 1950. You’d have to go to Korea. Now, you go on ebay. “Because of your site, my marriage is over.” It’s not because of the site. It’s because of the marriage. Is it immoral to help someone do something immoral? I guess it depends on your conscience. Who is the quality control group for the website? How do you even do that job?The majority of affairs happen in the workplace. I wonder if anyone at ashleymadison has cheated on someone with their coworker. Irony.
Would you be able to tell someone that their significant other wasn’t a good match for them?No. I tend to keep friends around who can handle themselves and their decisions, so if they want to make a huge mistake, they’ll make it and they’ll learn from it. I might think it’s a bad idea, but I’m more likely to suggest reconsideration then to flat out say, “dump him.” And in the end, whether you say something or you say nothing, people are going to do what they want to do. They’ll stay or they’ll break up and you opinion still means squat. I see my friends associate themselves with people or situations that aren’t the best; the only thing you can say is, “are you sure this is what you want to be doing? Have you considered what will happen if it all goes horribly wrong?” Plus, I’ve made terrible decisions; I have no right to tell someone else not to do something. The education doesn’t matter. Personal learning experiences count for nothing in other people’s lives. It will bother me when people start lying, though. I’ll call them out on that. I got into a fight with my roommate once because she wanted to marry the guy she was dating and he was still seeing his ex-fiancé. She didn’t see that if he was lying to another woman, he was probably lying to her as well. There’s a difference between making a mistake with full knowledge, and lying to yourself. I’ve lost friends because they picked crazy. Oh well. If you pick lies over truth then we’re probably not going to get along very well anyway.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I get to love you
I'm doing a better job not making a chocolate malted soy/milkshake then not being on the internet. I wanted to watch winterguard. I couldn't get any.
I found this instead. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh88dVI43_c&feature=related
I love this choreographer. I love these dancers. I love Ingrid Michaelson. I love this song in all its many versions. I love how ugly bridesmaidy these beautiful costumes look. And since I've been working out with it, I love the ghost space idea.
Totally worth it.
I suppose this is a lazy day.
Time for my soy/milkshake.
I found this instead. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh88dVI43_c&feature=related
I love this choreographer. I love these dancers. I love Ingrid Michaelson. I love this song in all its many versions. I love how ugly bridesmaidy these beautiful costumes look. And since I've been working out with it, I love the ghost space idea.
Totally worth it.
I suppose this is a lazy day.
Time for my soy/milkshake.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
2 hours of work... 8 hours of day
The radio this morning was talking about how women shouldn’t consider dating an unemployed man. I agree. It was then stated that if you don’t have a job, you shouldn’t even be trying to date. I agree. Chuck kept saying that he would have a list and if you fell under any of the categories (which included smoking pot, and having 2 kids by 2 different men), he would immediately cross you off. A woman called in and said that when she met her boyfriend, he was unemployed but that didn’t mean he was unable to take care of her family. Even though he couldn’t provide financially, he would help out around the house, cook, clean, and take care of her 2 kids (by 2 different dads), and that he was wonderful. Here’s the point: everyone has standards. Generally speaking, people will allow for lower standards in others if they are currently in a low standard situation. I live at home. If I met someone and they decided not to date me because I don’t live independently, I wouldn’t blame them. If I lived on my own and I met someone who lived at home, I probably wouldn’t date them. Since this woman has babies whose only relation to each other is through her, her standards aren’t going to be really high. Most men are turned off by a woman who has kids, let alone 2, let alone with 2 different baby daddies. If she finds the one guy who isn’t going to run away, she’s going to keep him job or no job.
Next on the radio is naked parties. Would I go to a nude beach? Probably. If I was on my honeymoon, or I was looking to have a threesome. Would I go to a partially clothed beach? Definitely. All situations go. Would I go to a naked party? No. Do I think the girl on the radio who said at midnight pants come off is Janelle? Janelle? Is that you? Yes.
Radio Topic #3: The girl got proposed to 5 times. If you turn down the proposal, do you stay friends? No.
If I didn’t want to marry someone, I would not accept the proposal … unless it was in public. I am very against the public proposal, but if some guy did that and I wasn’t interested, I would say yes and then the second we were alone, I would renege my answer.
Best snack ever*:
Start with a regular flat tortilla
Smear refried beans in a thin layer on top.
Cover the whole tortilla, leaving just a little space around the edges
On top of the beans, spread a thin layer of sour cream
Add your favorite heat of Taco Bell sauce packet in a zig zag pattern
Optional toppings**:
Lettuce leaves
Black olive slices
Guacamole
Once desired inside is completed, start at one end and roll up snack like you were rolling up a rug. Add tooth picks to hold and slice on an angle.
*Not for people who don’t like tacos.
**Don’t add too many things, or you won’t be able roll up the wrap.
Delicious!
You know what’s silly? People calling someone back without knowing who they are calling.
“Hi this is Jim with Magna Manufacturing. Someone from there called me but I didn’t write their name down. I’m returning their call.”
Fabulous. I page the call and no one answers. So I call someone internally and ask if they called him.
“That sounds familiar. I most definitely did.”
Thanks for answering the page. You’re really making my morning efficient.
I work for the inner city public school of businesses.
Next on the radio is naked parties. Would I go to a nude beach? Probably. If I was on my honeymoon, or I was looking to have a threesome. Would I go to a partially clothed beach? Definitely. All situations go. Would I go to a naked party? No. Do I think the girl on the radio who said at midnight pants come off is Janelle? Janelle? Is that you? Yes.
Radio Topic #3: The girl got proposed to 5 times. If you turn down the proposal, do you stay friends? No.
If I didn’t want to marry someone, I would not accept the proposal … unless it was in public. I am very against the public proposal, but if some guy did that and I wasn’t interested, I would say yes and then the second we were alone, I would renege my answer.
Best snack ever*:
Start with a regular flat tortilla
Smear refried beans in a thin layer on top.
Cover the whole tortilla, leaving just a little space around the edges
On top of the beans, spread a thin layer of sour cream
Add your favorite heat of Taco Bell sauce packet in a zig zag pattern
Optional toppings**:
Lettuce leaves
Black olive slices
Guacamole
Once desired inside is completed, start at one end and roll up snack like you were rolling up a rug. Add tooth picks to hold and slice on an angle.
*Not for people who don’t like tacos.
**Don’t add too many things, or you won’t be able roll up the wrap.
Delicious!
You know what’s silly? People calling someone back without knowing who they are calling.
“Hi this is Jim with Magna Manufacturing. Someone from there called me but I didn’t write their name down. I’m returning their call.”
Fabulous. I page the call and no one answers. So I call someone internally and ask if they called him.
“That sounds familiar. I most definitely did.”
Thanks for answering the page. You’re really making my morning efficient.
I work for the inner city public school of businesses.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A ( ) version of me
Things Women don’t want to hear about your ex:
She was wild in bed
She used to be a model (hotness is a touchy issue)
My parents loved her
She broke my heart
She’s still not over me
She loved sports
She was low maintenance
She was a great kisser
89x is talking about whether it’s ok to be friends with your exes. I’ve never been the person who was able to stay friends with someone I had a relationship with. Ever since the 10th grade when my first boyfriend and I broke up over summer and I sat with him at lunch the first day of school and thought I was going to vomit is when I knew we couldn’t just be friends. If I have ever had legitimate feelings for someone (outside of OMG you’re so hot) and they weren’t reciprocated, or they were shared but it just didn’t work out, I couldn’t stay friends with them.
But, I am also very cut and dry. I find very little grey area in past relationships. I will admit that with some people it depends on the relationship, how long ago it happened, and how old you were when it happened.
I really don’t think it always has to do with the potential to have romantic feelings over again. I think the disgust comes from inside jokes and a previous connection no one else is included in. I get annoyed when people talk about something only they can understand around other people. It’s rude. It’s like saying, “Oh man! There was this awesome moment we both experienced; it was so cool and you weren’t there and really, you’re not invited now either.” It’s just rude. You’re ignoring the other person and behaving as if it would be better if they weren’t around. That’s the kind of stuff you do when someone invites themselves along and you don’t want them there, so you try and make them as uncomfortable as possible.
Plus there’s the numbers issue. It’s reasonable to sleep with an ex for the plain reason that you’ve done it before and it doesn’t add any sluttiness to your belt. So if you’re dating someone who is friends with their ex… it’s almost like they’re telling you, “listen, if we ever break up—even for a day—I’m going to see this person naked and touch their genitals.”
The octo-mom said she wouldn’t get a tummy tuck because she likes to do things as natural as possible. Now. I know everyone has their own hypocritical issues. But really.
The thunderstorm woke me and Tagen up last night. She was ok for a while; she’s never really been afraid of storms before. It was right overhead for a really long time, though, and she eventually got scared. So I put my blanket over her head and kept petting her to calm her down. She also hates fireworks.
I feel like I’m forced into waiting for everything. Everything. And it’s balanced waiting for good things and bad things. I’m waiting to be laid off. I’m waiting for work to pick up so I don’t get laid off. I’m waiting to get a new job. I’m waiting for JD to get a house and be content. I’m waiting for something to happen. I’m waiting for the universe to call my number and let me order my deli meats. It’s like everything just stopped and I’m not moving forward anymore.
Brad Pitt and the kids are living in Long Island while Angelina is doing a movie. That means he’s takin the kids to school and bring Mr. Mom. Apparently, the other moms who take their kids to school can no longer do so in a frumpy nature. Ha. Love it. Moms are putting in extra effort to look nice for Brad Pitt. Oh man I can’t imagine taking my kids to school and seeing Brad Pitt dropping off like 8 ethnic babies.
She was wild in bed
She used to be a model (hotness is a touchy issue)
My parents loved her
She broke my heart
She’s still not over me
She loved sports
She was low maintenance
She was a great kisser
89x is talking about whether it’s ok to be friends with your exes. I’ve never been the person who was able to stay friends with someone I had a relationship with. Ever since the 10th grade when my first boyfriend and I broke up over summer and I sat with him at lunch the first day of school and thought I was going to vomit is when I knew we couldn’t just be friends. If I have ever had legitimate feelings for someone (outside of OMG you’re so hot) and they weren’t reciprocated, or they were shared but it just didn’t work out, I couldn’t stay friends with them.
But, I am also very cut and dry. I find very little grey area in past relationships. I will admit that with some people it depends on the relationship, how long ago it happened, and how old you were when it happened.
I really don’t think it always has to do with the potential to have romantic feelings over again. I think the disgust comes from inside jokes and a previous connection no one else is included in. I get annoyed when people talk about something only they can understand around other people. It’s rude. It’s like saying, “Oh man! There was this awesome moment we both experienced; it was so cool and you weren’t there and really, you’re not invited now either.” It’s just rude. You’re ignoring the other person and behaving as if it would be better if they weren’t around. That’s the kind of stuff you do when someone invites themselves along and you don’t want them there, so you try and make them as uncomfortable as possible.
Plus there’s the numbers issue. It’s reasonable to sleep with an ex for the plain reason that you’ve done it before and it doesn’t add any sluttiness to your belt. So if you’re dating someone who is friends with their ex… it’s almost like they’re telling you, “listen, if we ever break up—even for a day—I’m going to see this person naked and touch their genitals.”
The octo-mom said she wouldn’t get a tummy tuck because she likes to do things as natural as possible. Now. I know everyone has their own hypocritical issues. But really.
The thunderstorm woke me and Tagen up last night. She was ok for a while; she’s never really been afraid of storms before. It was right overhead for a really long time, though, and she eventually got scared. So I put my blanket over her head and kept petting her to calm her down. She also hates fireworks.
I feel like I’m forced into waiting for everything. Everything. And it’s balanced waiting for good things and bad things. I’m waiting to be laid off. I’m waiting for work to pick up so I don’t get laid off. I’m waiting to get a new job. I’m waiting for JD to get a house and be content. I’m waiting for something to happen. I’m waiting for the universe to call my number and let me order my deli meats. It’s like everything just stopped and I’m not moving forward anymore.
Brad Pitt and the kids are living in Long Island while Angelina is doing a movie. That means he’s takin the kids to school and bring Mr. Mom. Apparently, the other moms who take their kids to school can no longer do so in a frumpy nature. Ha. Love it. Moms are putting in extra effort to look nice for Brad Pitt. Oh man I can’t imagine taking my kids to school and seeing Brad Pitt dropping off like 8 ethnic babies.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
What are you waiting for?
Kevin Federline receives $40,000 PER MONTH from Britney Spears. Plus $20,000/month for the kids. It should really be switched. Why is he personally getting $40,000 and the 2 kids are only getting $10,000 a piece. AND he’s asking for more.
There are single parents with 2 kids who operate on $40,000 a year or less.
I was watching Gilmore Girls yesterday and it was the episode where Paris finds out she’s poor and Rory hires her to waiter an event. Paris bitches about capitalism and how the people with the most money get that way by feeding off the working man.
Anyway, those two things seemed to correlate.
I’m really half assing this because there’s only one thing I can think about and it’s not appropriate.
Are Americans really cut out for delayed gratification?
This is an unanswerable question based on its vagueness. Certain people are able to hold out their desires for delayed gratification… but not everyone is. It’s just a big curve like everything else.
Cardio: 30 minutes
Abs? Yes
Legs? Yes
So far this week, I've done some sort of physical activity U, M, T, W. All I have left is tomorrow.
# of jobs applied to today: 5?
Searching for a new job at the moment is best defined as an experience that is a cross between a contestant on a dating show... and a stylist at Great Clips.
There are single parents with 2 kids who operate on $40,000 a year or less.
I was watching Gilmore Girls yesterday and it was the episode where Paris finds out she’s poor and Rory hires her to waiter an event. Paris bitches about capitalism and how the people with the most money get that way by feeding off the working man.
Anyway, those two things seemed to correlate.
I’m really half assing this because there’s only one thing I can think about and it’s not appropriate.
Are Americans really cut out for delayed gratification?
This is an unanswerable question based on its vagueness. Certain people are able to hold out their desires for delayed gratification… but not everyone is. It’s just a big curve like everything else.
Cardio: 30 minutes
Abs? Yes
Legs? Yes
So far this week, I've done some sort of physical activity U, M, T, W. All I have left is tomorrow.
# of jobs applied to today: 5?
Searching for a new job at the moment is best defined as an experience that is a cross between a contestant on a dating show... and a stylist at Great Clips.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
It's Wednesday... you know what that means
Most embarrassing thing for women (reverse order)
Booger in nose
Heel in drain
Lipstick on teeth/Smudging make up
Tucking dress into underpants
Breast escaping
Toilet paper on shoe
For men (reverse order)
Credit card rejection
Splitting pants
Accidentally leaking on pants
Spilling drink at bar
Unknown booger
Tripping (breaking into a jog to hide)
Farting in public
Leaving fly down
I don’t really have “embarrassing” moments. I’ve had times where I thought “this is a horrible life moment” but I don’t dwell on how bad things are; I’d rather move on with my life than be consumed by things I can’t go back on. However, in trying to think of some, I realized I’ve had a lot. And most are not ones I would enjoy repeating. So, my most embarrassing moment (that I’m willing to broadcast and not totally deny in my psyche):
Going on what I thought was a date, only to find out that it was not a date because I don’t believe Jesus is our Savior, and that the rest of the Cult would be joining us later.
This Life Moment also qualifies as my Worst Date Ever.
Second place goes to:
Falling (for no definable reason) during our exhibition as a college at the high school band championship thing at Pontiac Silverdome. And then having my boyfriends’ mom (who I was supposed to meet for the first time) ask me who that girl was that fell down.
Otherwise though, I like to stick to acting like things never happened.
Booger in nose
Heel in drain
Lipstick on teeth/Smudging make up
Tucking dress into underpants
Breast escaping
Toilet paper on shoe
For men (reverse order)
Credit card rejection
Splitting pants
Accidentally leaking on pants
Spilling drink at bar
Unknown booger
Tripping (breaking into a jog to hide)
Farting in public
Leaving fly down
I don’t really have “embarrassing” moments. I’ve had times where I thought “this is a horrible life moment” but I don’t dwell on how bad things are; I’d rather move on with my life than be consumed by things I can’t go back on. However, in trying to think of some, I realized I’ve had a lot. And most are not ones I would enjoy repeating. So, my most embarrassing moment (that I’m willing to broadcast and not totally deny in my psyche):
Going on what I thought was a date, only to find out that it was not a date because I don’t believe Jesus is our Savior, and that the rest of the Cult would be joining us later.
This Life Moment also qualifies as my Worst Date Ever.
Second place goes to:
Falling (for no definable reason) during our exhibition as a college at the high school band championship thing at Pontiac Silverdome. And then having my boyfriends’ mom (who I was supposed to meet for the first time) ask me who that girl was that fell down.
Otherwise though, I like to stick to acting like things never happened.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Not so good after all
My thighs hurt from running.
http://dir.salon.com/topics/ayelet_waldman/
I listened to her all afternoon. I think she's amazing.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=103794433
She sounds just the way she looks.
Today was fairly low key. I've been grappling with appropriate please-hire-me etiquette.
My hands look really old in this light. They could be 40 year old hands. Damn you UV rays!
I'll be cynical. You be optimistic. Things should work well.
http://dir.salon.com/topics/ayelet_waldman/
I listened to her all afternoon. I think she's amazing.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=103794433
She sounds just the way she looks.
Today was fairly low key. I've been grappling with appropriate please-hire-me etiquette.
My hands look really old in this light. They could be 40 year old hands. Damn you UV rays!
I'll be cynical. You be optimistic. Things should work well.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Love sinks. Yeah.
(I love when the radio does Italian conversations)
Avoid doing on dates/things that make you look desperate:
Talking about exes
Broadcasting your sex life
Being loud and inappropriate
Jumping the gun don’t force things to move too fast
Are people still doing horrible things on dates? Is that possible? It makes me think people only do horrible stuff to make the other person aware they’re not interested without having to say, “listen, I’m not interested.” I was once told I was not on a date while on the date. It’s horrible, but you survive with a mild sense of respect for the other person.
Whose parents split up when they're almost 60? How does one handle living an entire life thinking that they should model their potential relationships off this one thing that turns to crap? How does one handle growing up and being told they're just like this one thing, being proud of it, and it ends up being awful? Is it too early for a midlife crisis? Probably. I can't afford a sports car or an exotic pool boy who speaks little to no english. Also, I'm not entertaining enough to put on a reality tv show.
Avoid doing on dates/things that make you look desperate:
Talking about exes
Broadcasting your sex life
Being loud and inappropriate
Jumping the gun don’t force things to move too fast
Are people still doing horrible things on dates? Is that possible? It makes me think people only do horrible stuff to make the other person aware they’re not interested without having to say, “listen, I’m not interested.” I was once told I was not on a date while on the date. It’s horrible, but you survive with a mild sense of respect for the other person.
Whose parents split up when they're almost 60? How does one handle living an entire life thinking that they should model their potential relationships off this one thing that turns to crap? How does one handle growing up and being told they're just like this one thing, being proud of it, and it ends up being awful? Is it too early for a midlife crisis? Probably. I can't afford a sports car or an exotic pool boy who speaks little to no english. Also, I'm not entertaining enough to put on a reality tv show.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Politically Incorrect generally means you're bring honest
People who say they're "saving" themselves "until" they're "married" and then don't, probably were just saying that to explain why they're ashamed to be a virgin.
Despite the ever changing size of a woman's body and the abundance of options for clothing, there's always a 90% chance that those xs/s Soffe shorts you're wearing rolled over 4 times are showing your vagina.
And there's a 100% chance I don't want to see it.
I am unqualified to do anything worthwhile. What a depressing realization.
I think it's time to move...
...into the Tough Love house!
Despite the ever changing size of a woman's body and the abundance of options for clothing, there's always a 90% chance that those xs/s Soffe shorts you're wearing rolled over 4 times are showing your vagina.
And there's a 100% chance I don't want to see it.
I am unqualified to do anything worthwhile. What a depressing realization.
I think it's time to move...
...into the Tough Love house!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I thought Jessica Biel's tits were bigger?
Problems I have found with our new time schedules:
Lynn came in really early yesterday for the meeting, and is forced to leave at 2pm today. That means she worked 12 hours yesterday.
Yesterday, I wasn’t able to finish my work before 2:30 thus causing other people to do it.
Solution: we schedule ourselves. If I only stayed the length of time I worked, I would be far more productive because my getting out time would be dependent on my ability to stay on task.
Solution: Lynn should have kept her 40 hour work week, and Suzie should have been cut to 32.
Why? Because Suzie takes (2) 15 minute breaks a day. If you are so ahead in your work that you can waste a half an hour a day, you can work 29.5 and decide if you want to skip your breaks for the extra 2.5 hours.
Also, I think Lynn and I do more as a team effort. Her hair is a mess and she talks to herself, but damnit she gets a job done and she answers the phone before the 4th ring.
Plus, I don’t like Suzie or her work ethic.
On a side note, I don’t think Kristy actually looks at my time clock because this will be the second week in a row I get paid more than I should have because of the time I clocked in.
Solution: I’ll stop punching in too early or too late in case I get caught. OR I’ll only do it once a week.
Moral dilemma: Is it the employee or the employers’ responsibility to make sure the employee isn’t being over paid? If the employee is underpaid, it is the employee’s responsibility.
Damnit.
One of the salesmen jammed the printer, which upon fixing yielded a 52 page mistake print job. When you’ve messed up that bad, ask for help.
Solution: If you can’t fix the problem, let someone else know there is a problem and see if they can fix it or point you in the direction of someone who can fix it. Solution: Leave a note on my desk: “Amanda, Doug Damon here uhh I broke the printer. I tried to fix it but the light is still red and my paper isn’t coming out and I printed the wrong thing anyway so I guess it’s for the better. Just wanted to let you know. Ok Thanks.”
What happened to courtesy?
Miss California was raised to believe marriage is between a man and a woman. We can assume, then, that she doesn’t believe gay marriage should be legalized. People are considering the idea that this statement during the competition may have cost her the Miss America crown. Personally, I believe that if it didn’t cost her the crown, it should have. If you’re from California, in beauty pageants (which are basically drag shows for little girls), and haven’t encountered a homosexual, or if you have, and haven’t felt compassion for them/felt they were a human and deserved common human rights then I don’t think you should be representing anything but a church or potential cult.
I wouldn’t have an abortion, but I wouldn’t dare take that decision away from another woman. AND I wouldn’t weight my answer in a beauty pageant with my religious beliefs.
I’m glad she didn’t win.
Yesterday, I did pilates.
Today: 45 minutes of cardio
Lynn came in really early yesterday for the meeting, and is forced to leave at 2pm today. That means she worked 12 hours yesterday.
Yesterday, I wasn’t able to finish my work before 2:30 thus causing other people to do it.
Solution: we schedule ourselves. If I only stayed the length of time I worked, I would be far more productive because my getting out time would be dependent on my ability to stay on task.
Solution: Lynn should have kept her 40 hour work week, and Suzie should have been cut to 32.
Why? Because Suzie takes (2) 15 minute breaks a day. If you are so ahead in your work that you can waste a half an hour a day, you can work 29.5 and decide if you want to skip your breaks for the extra 2.5 hours.
Also, I think Lynn and I do more as a team effort. Her hair is a mess and she talks to herself, but damnit she gets a job done and she answers the phone before the 4th ring.
Plus, I don’t like Suzie or her work ethic.
On a side note, I don’t think Kristy actually looks at my time clock because this will be the second week in a row I get paid more than I should have because of the time I clocked in.
Solution: I’ll stop punching in too early or too late in case I get caught. OR I’ll only do it once a week.
Moral dilemma: Is it the employee or the employers’ responsibility to make sure the employee isn’t being over paid? If the employee is underpaid, it is the employee’s responsibility.
Damnit.
One of the salesmen jammed the printer, which upon fixing yielded a 52 page mistake print job. When you’ve messed up that bad, ask for help.
Solution: If you can’t fix the problem, let someone else know there is a problem and see if they can fix it or point you in the direction of someone who can fix it. Solution: Leave a note on my desk: “Amanda, Doug Damon here uhh I broke the printer. I tried to fix it but the light is still red and my paper isn’t coming out and I printed the wrong thing anyway so I guess it’s for the better. Just wanted to let you know. Ok Thanks.”
What happened to courtesy?
Miss California was raised to believe marriage is between a man and a woman. We can assume, then, that she doesn’t believe gay marriage should be legalized. People are considering the idea that this statement during the competition may have cost her the Miss America crown. Personally, I believe that if it didn’t cost her the crown, it should have. If you’re from California, in beauty pageants (which are basically drag shows for little girls), and haven’t encountered a homosexual, or if you have, and haven’t felt compassion for them/felt they were a human and deserved common human rights then I don’t think you should be representing anything but a church or potential cult.
I wouldn’t have an abortion, but I wouldn’t dare take that decision away from another woman. AND I wouldn’t weight my answer in a beauty pageant with my religious beliefs.
I’m glad she didn’t win.
Yesterday, I did pilates.
Today: 45 minutes of cardio
Monday, April 20, 2009
Not worth reading on a locker room wall
Getting off work at 2:30 kinda kicks ass.
In a less money, too busy, stressful kind of way.
Total time doing cardio today: 40 mins.
Total miles run: 1
Pilates? no
Job searches: I spent about 45 minutes on a cover letter. It's for a writer of rehab reports in Farmington Hills.
Am I qualified for it? Not entirely. I have the education, but not the experience.
Could I learn it and do well? Yes.
Do I think they'll hire me? No. I'd rather be pessimistic.
Next month they're laying off 5 people. There's a 70% chance it'll be me. Job searching would be easier if I were a man based on my hard working-following directions-not people person-attributes. It's all very frustrating. If jobs had a trial run, I could kick ass.
I have only spent money on my car in the last 6 days. $15 for gas, and $90 for useless work. Aside from my car, I haven't made a purchase.
It's not impossible. It's just unlikely.
In a less money, too busy, stressful kind of way.
Total time doing cardio today: 40 mins.
Total miles run: 1
Pilates? no
Job searches: I spent about 45 minutes on a cover letter. It's for a writer of rehab reports in Farmington Hills.
Am I qualified for it? Not entirely. I have the education, but not the experience.
Could I learn it and do well? Yes.
Do I think they'll hire me? No. I'd rather be pessimistic.
Next month they're laying off 5 people. There's a 70% chance it'll be me. Job searching would be easier if I were a man based on my hard working-following directions-not people person-attributes. It's all very frustrating. If jobs had a trial run, I could kick ass.
I have only spent money on my car in the last 6 days. $15 for gas, and $90 for useless work. Aside from my car, I haven't made a purchase.
It's not impossible. It's just unlikely.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Things I've noticed
Ways to date during the recession: (89X)
Cook dinner together
Take a walk in the park
Bike ride
Use a coupon
Coffee & dessert instead of dinner
I am not impressed that a 47 year old ugly lady can sing. Singers become old people who can still sing. Her ugly face has nothing to do with her vocal cords. Anyone who was shocked that an old unattractive woman could sing should be schooled in music because they are clearly ignorant.
I could have been in No Worker Left Behind this whole time! If you’re working and your family income is less than $40,000/yr, they’ll pay for 2 years of college up to $10,000. OY!
Cosmo is all about sex these days. It's a little out of hand.
Cook dinner together
Take a walk in the park
Bike ride
Use a coupon
Coffee & dessert instead of dinner
I am not impressed that a 47 year old ugly lady can sing. Singers become old people who can still sing. Her ugly face has nothing to do with her vocal cords. Anyone who was shocked that an old unattractive woman could sing should be schooled in music because they are clearly ignorant.
I could have been in No Worker Left Behind this whole time! If you’re working and your family income is less than $40,000/yr, they’ll pay for 2 years of college up to $10,000. OY!
Cosmo is all about sex these days. It's a little out of hand.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Coming up next on National Public Radio...
I am currently listening to a Christian actress on NPR who made this comment about being a Christian who supports homosexuality: “I think there are certain aspects you’re born with, and I don’t believe God makes mistakes.”
I disagree.
#1 There are people who are attracted to both sexes. Could be something else you’re born with… but I think that if a preference to one sex or the other is innate, then a) everyone would be straight because our instincts are towards procreation, and b) there wouldn’t be asexual people or (their opposite) bisexual people.
#2 I don’t believe heterosexuality is a “born with” quality, therefore I would be inconsistent thinking homosexuality is.
#3 People change. I read an article in O Magazine about women who were married to men… and then became lesbians. Were they lesbians the entire time? Maybe, but I doubt it.
#4 I honestly believe it’s more about taste than genetics. I like a certain type of person: funny, brutally honest, reasonable, able to compromise, laid back, balanced, etc. These qualities are found in both my male and female friends. Like pilates, I think it’s the combination of the exercises that render the best results and not the actions alone.
#5 I’m reading a book called “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” and it reiterates the idea that men are mostly concerned about Who they are, What they do, and How much they make. Their entire lives are centered around those 3 things, and they don’t feel like a human if they can’t answer those questions. As a woman, I don’t care who you are, what you do, or how much you make. I place WAY more importance on whether or not you treat other people with respect, and whether or not you can prioritize. Men don’t care if a woman treats the waitress with respect or if she can assign priority to a number of tasks. There seems to be an inherent difference which, I think, causes someone to be attracted to either a man or a woman.
I disagree.
#1 There are people who are attracted to both sexes. Could be something else you’re born with… but I think that if a preference to one sex or the other is innate, then a) everyone would be straight because our instincts are towards procreation, and b) there wouldn’t be asexual people or (their opposite) bisexual people.
#2 I don’t believe heterosexuality is a “born with” quality, therefore I would be inconsistent thinking homosexuality is.
#3 People change. I read an article in O Magazine about women who were married to men… and then became lesbians. Were they lesbians the entire time? Maybe, but I doubt it.
#4 I honestly believe it’s more about taste than genetics. I like a certain type of person: funny, brutally honest, reasonable, able to compromise, laid back, balanced, etc. These qualities are found in both my male and female friends. Like pilates, I think it’s the combination of the exercises that render the best results and not the actions alone.
#5 I’m reading a book called “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” and it reiterates the idea that men are mostly concerned about Who they are, What they do, and How much they make. Their entire lives are centered around those 3 things, and they don’t feel like a human if they can’t answer those questions. As a woman, I don’t care who you are, what you do, or how much you make. I place WAY more importance on whether or not you treat other people with respect, and whether or not you can prioritize. Men don’t care if a woman treats the waitress with respect or if she can assign priority to a number of tasks. There seems to be an inherent difference which, I think, causes someone to be attracted to either a man or a woman.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
