Clearly it's a ghost with a whistle!

That's right. I'm not looking for a job and I'm sitting eating potato chips.

So this is parts of my July horoscope off Astrologyzone.com with my comments and current observations:
Hold on to your hat, dear Libra. With two major eclipses due to soon hit the top and bottom houses of your chart, you are about to see some massive changes at home and in your career. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit that you feel you've come to master your present life just fine and you are up for a new adventure. You need change, and that's precisely what the universe is about to bring you.
This is me: holding onto said hat.

If you were born October 7 or within five days of this date, you will feel the July 7 eclipse in a powerful way.
I wasn't.

If your birthday falls closer to October 22, plus or minus five days, you will feel the July 22 eclipse in a powerful way.
Nope.

The first eclipse on July 7 will bring a full moon lunar eclipse to your fourth house, bringing a surprise development concerning a home or family matter or in regard to a pending real estate deal. A full moon always brings a finish. This, being a full moon lunar eclipse, suggests that a female who is attached to your household - a roommate, housekeeper, nanny, or your mother or other female relative - may be leaving or moving away. This is a positive eclipse, for Saturn will be extremely comforting and supportive, ensuring whatever changes you make now will be in place a long time.
There are other ways this lunar eclipse July 7 may affect you. You may need to clear out a space - yours or that of a parent - perhaps because you or your parent is moving, or because you may be doing a refurbishing or reconstruction project. This process of clearing out possessions may make you sentimental as you prepare for the next chapter of your life. That's normal, dear Libra, but unless you do clear out the past you can't get ready for the future. I know, sometimes knowing this doesn't really help very much. You will be quite happy again after this process is completed, so keep that in mind.
Today is July 8th. My mom told me today that I had to clean because a realtor is coming to our hosue to establish the actual value for the divorce.

Elsewhere in your chart, during the first part of July, Mars will put a strong emphasis on your finances in your eighth house of other people's money, credit, taxes, and other such funds. This trend started in late April and has continued through May, so you probably have been spending more lately. Even if you wanted to cut down on your spending, it appeared you weren't too successful at holding the line. Don't worry, however, because this expensive phase is due to end after July 11.
I like the idea of "other people's money" I'm hoping very much that the expensive phase stops because I don't have any of my own money and I have yet to see anyone else's money. Of course I haven't been spending much because I there isn't any money so I'm not totally sure what this is all about.

You will receive a lot of good financial assistance from Mars and Uranus too, specifically (and coincidentally) on the same day as the eclipse, July 7. This day is quite fortunate for gaining a bit of money. If you find you're in the mood to buy a scratch-off lotto ticket, do so just for fun. When it comes to money, you will have the lucky touch on this day. I am not sure if your bundle of cash will be earned, given, loaned, or won. It does look like at least a small amount will find its way to your door near July 7.
Well, July 7th came and I bought a lottery ticket. The Mega Millions (go big or go home, right?) and it lost. It lost without even coming close to being near the numbers. My mom (whose lottery tickets I purchased) won her money back. She spent two of those dollars on a lottery ticket that reminded her of me. It lost. Twice. You know what "bit of money" I gained? 53 cents from change left in the coin collector at Kroger.

Last month you had a new moon in the same area of your chart on June 22, the tenth house of honors, achievement, and fame. If you had an interesting conversation about a new position, or were pitching a new client, or had other fascinating career developments last month, you will be able to bring talks to a new level this month. It's unusual to have two new moons in a row falling in the same part of the chart, but that's what we have here. To have one new moon be a solar eclipse is even more unusual. This is good news, because if you are serious about changing your job, this solar eclipse will open a path. Solar eclipses are quite exciting!
In all honesty, I did go on a job interview last month within 2 days of that date. So I'll keep on employment searching.

Along with other changes you may make on the job, there will be other shifts taking place around you. A high level boss, most likely a male, may announce that he's leaving the firm, much to everyone's amazement. This will be someone you report to, not a co-worker, and someone you probably thought was a permanent fixture of the company. This person may leave on his own volition or will be forced out. Your job could easily change as a result. You may be wondering why I say this will be a "male." An eclipse of the Sun always points to a masculine person, and because this eclipse is happening in your tenth house of fame and career status, it would be an authority figure at your office who will be "eclipsed out" of your life.
INTERESTING!

It looks as though one of your friends will be instrumental in your success, and I say this because the Sun rules your eleventh house of friendship. Someone you know may give you a tip that leads you to a stunning opportunity. If you belong to a club, this group may also be helpful. Even if you find you are forced to look for a job this month (and I am not saying that will be the case, but if this is true for you), don't bemoan your situation - the universe will be doing you a favor. You are moving toward a much better situation.
SO If anyone has any tips, I'll grab a note pad and a pen.

It's best if you initiate the changes. Changes emanating from within you are often more organic, stemming from dreams and wishes that reside deep inside you. Having said that, I will admit that sometimes interesting offers do stem from the outside, too. They send us down new paths, ones that we would never investigate any other way and they help us develop latent talents. So actually, the more I think about it, all sorts of changes, no matter where they emanate from, are valuable. Fortunately you are a cardinal air sign, so you are one to embrace all that is new. Good, dear Libra!
I suppose all I'm really taking from my horoscope this month is the idea of change. I will do something each day that is out of the norm for me in situation, routine, or experience. Do one thing every day that scares you. Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.

The weekend of July 18-19 should be stellar, what with the moon in Gemini on Friday night and all day Saturday, and the Sun getting golden beams from surprise-a-minute Uranus. Wow!
I'll keep you posted.


PS
As documentation, I predict JD will move September 19-22 +/- 3 days.
If I win, he buys me soup at Big Boy.
If he wins, (and I have a full time job) I'll buy him breakfast at the Lyon Grill.

You're not cool unless you pee yoru pants

Yesterday I stopped to listen to the valedictorian speech from one of the local high schools on the public station. It was awful. I may have missed the beginning, but I believe he said that he was comparing his actual high school experience to the high schools in his favorite “childhood movies” Which included: Fast Time and Ridgemont High, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, etc. My problem with this is that kids graduating from high school in 2009 were born in 1991 and all of those movies came out in the 80’s. The people in those movies have kids older than the graduating class of 2009. Why you gotta be frontin’? Those are not movies from your childhood. You weren’t even born yet. Acceptable movies from your childhood would be: She’s All That, Clueless, Cruel Intentions, Dead Man On Campus, Bring it On, etc.

Today at work, Santa called and showed up on the caller ID. How bad are times that Santa needs a part time job?

Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Dream me is sexually frustrated

I was having a sex dream with my dream boss's dream husband. We had a nice foreplay of drawing on eachother with crayons (unbelievably hot, how weird) and we were just about to have sex when my alarm went off. I had to wait listening to country music (because it's the only station I get) until I could wake up from REM sleep to push snooze and then not go back to my dream.

Then I turned on the news; Derek VanDam always makes my morning better. But it's not time for the weather and instead I get the guy I don't really like telling me about some shooting or fire or something in Saginaw. Ok, fine, this is why I don't like the news, whatever. Newscaster goes into who has died in the war today. OK another reason why I don't watch the news, fine, though, I need to put a shirt on and Derek needs to tell me what to wear.. I'm still waiting for the weather. Newscaster --literally-- begins a montage of who has died in 2006. It's 6 o'clock in the morning. I don't need to know everyone who had died today, yesterday, and the past year this early. You've gotta let me get some OJ before making me think life is worthless.

All my days have such potential for not sucking and then whoops my dream sex gets interrupted and instead of the weather I get a wake, my boss tells me instead of 15 hours of work this week, I only get 5.

When I was a kid, they called me "Whiner 49er" I bet you're wondering why.