If the one holding the umbrella...

Let’s be real: I fell off the wagon. I allowed the fat girl in me to eat over Christmas, and eat she did. To prepare for Vegas in February, I’m going to try to take P90X seriously for the month of January. Also, I will be going back to being a vegetarian for 30 days. I ate WAY too much meat. Multiple kinds of meat. Meat at every meal. In the grand scheme of meals, my meat consumption was still less than what an average person (and way less than an average male) would eat on a regular basis. For me, however, it was a bit much. I haven’t decided if I’ll cut out fish for January, too. Maybe only once a week. I don’t eat that much, anyway, but I do have fish sticks in the freezer.

I’m predicting a 80% success rate.

I miss Glee.

I’m gonna miss Honey Baked Ham Sandwiches.

There's a guy at work who says "You need to wake up before I come in to work! I see you yawning!" It makes me want to say "I suppose if I drank and entire case of Diet Coke in the morning, and then another in the afternoon, I could be more awake like you huh?" But the difficult thing about responding like that to people is that when you are rude to someone who is rude to you, they take it offensively whereas you are supposed to know they're joking and their sense of humor is more refined than yours.

“You’re the person who handles that, right?”
Sometimes I just want to say, “Do I look like the person who handles that?” “Does it seem like the owner or manager would be the one answering the phone?” “Does it make sense to you that when you asked me what my title in the company was and I didn’t respond with ‘manager’ or ‘accounting’ that it is unlikely I am able to accept potential charges?”

If you have a choice, please do not use UPS. Please, instead, choose FedEx. I’ve already written compliment and complaint letters (respectively) to both companies.
UPS Blows.
FedEx Rules.