I'll make you wish it was still Free Ham Day

I am in a piss poor mood. Piss Poor I say!

“Just call the airport” is my Kryptonite. It makes me feel so insecure and idiotic that I want to strangle people. If you don’t want to pay to change your flight… don’t change your flight. I’m not a goddamn magician and I don’t have any fucking pull with the airport. And if you seem to think that the airport is that willing to give you a better price, you call them! Tell them who you are and what you do and how important it is you get home at 11pm tonight instead of 11am tomorrow morning (Which, BTW, you could have been home earlier but getting home wasn't important enough for you to be on the 6am flight), and see if they give more of a shit than I do. Maybe they will because they don’t double check your flight options with you multiple times. They don’t give you all of your pricing and time availabilities. They don’t have to CONSTANTLY change your flights. It’s no wonder we spend so much on flying when everyone treats it like it’s free and convenient. If you want to travel at times and dates most convenient for you without restrictions… FLY YOUR OWN DAMN PLANE!

Analogies I’ve made up to compare with the way these people treat flight itineraries:
*It’s like going to the grocery store and having $150 in groceries then telling the check out person: “That’s too much. I only want to pay $75.” “Well, do you have any coupons?” “No.” “Then there’s nothing I can do for you.” “Just call the airport.”
*It’s like going to McDonald’s and ordering something, taking it home, eating the sandwich out of it and calling to exchange your fries for a new sandwich. At no cost.
One horrible day: *It’s like going to McDonalds and ordering and paying and then changing your mind before they give you your food so you get refunded and place a new order. And you do that 3 times. And then you take your sandwich home and decide you want something different so you bring it back to McDonalds and try to exchange it for a new sandwich, but they don’t let you. So they give you store credit on your old meal and you purchase a new meal, eat the fries there, and then decide you want a different sandwich so you try to exchange your old sandwich for a new one 5 minutes before the store closes.

If I ever forget and ask, the answer is: no; I don’t like Panera Bread. And to that, what are high schoolers doing gallivanting around on a Thursday afternoon? Back in my day, lunch was 35 minutes and school ended at 2:30 so they have no need to be at Panera Bread all loud with their braces and sweat pants at noon. Go back to class! And who do you think you are leaving a kid you know passed out in the snow? You should be ashamed of yourself!
I bet when they left they were like, what was up with that old lady on the couch with the ugly face? She must have been like, 30. I’m surprised she knew how to work her iPod.
Also at Panera was an angry-faced guy wearing scrubs ordering around an (please don’t take offense, I’m not sure what his handicap was so I’m being vague here) at least mildly retarded man.

And another thing! TEN DOLLARS FOR A SANDWICH?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!