This week

I watch the show Teen Mom. I have some issues with their financial abilities. OK so obviously, they all have kids. None of them have college degrees. I don’t think they actually have full time jobs. Some of them are going to school (costs money), and yet they can afford to live independently. The crazy fat girl who slapped her fatter boyfriend is renting an apartment for $425 a month (plus utilities!). I don’t know where she works… but I can’t afford that. Granted I have student loans and car payments. So minus that, I would have an extra$350/month. Maybe someone else is maybe her insurance and phone… extra $500/month. She obviously doesn’t go to the gym… $540/month Well, I guess I could afford that. OH WAIT she has a baby, hospital bills, medical bills, baby stuff, diapers are not cheap. Maybe her baby is living off the government. MTV probably pays her some money, too, to be on the show. Maybe every time she slaps her boyfriend, MTV gives her $100. Estimatingly, and despite my full time job and expenses, this girl probably consumes $500 more than I make every month.

Clearly, I picked the wrong path in life. I could have been a teen mom on TV and earning more money at 17 than I make now at 25.

Update: I watched the 2nd half of that getting an apartment episode yesterday, and SHE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A JOB WHEN SHE SIGNED THE LEASE!

I like calls that are recorded or monitored for quality assurance.

Can someone explain how I can scrape the hard to reach areas of my Aveeno Lotion out of the bottle? I paid $7 for that shit, and I’m gonna use every last bit of it.

As you may or may not know (depending on how often you have the free time and boredom to read online articles about people you hate), Heidi “dropped” her album last week. Reported that she spent nearly 2million of her own dollars to make it, and claimed that it was so good, she would make all her money back in the first weeks sales. Well. It’s been a week. She has sold 650 copies.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was not the popular rich pretty girl in high school and so the 15 year old inside of me is exploding with glee. I listened to a few of the songs and it did sound like the crap you’d hear at a club. The lyrics were more stuck up than normal, but the auto-tune voice and back beat were typical. I could hear it at a club, unfortunately. Aside from it being sub-par, I would like to attribute the shitty sales to how no one likes her. And that, that makes me very happy.