I didn't mean to complain...

Minor complaint: I am an hourly employee and therefore cannot work over 40 hours. Cannot. I don’t know whether or not I’ll get paid for going over 40 but I was told not to try. That’s ok. I’m quite accurate. I come in a few minutes early and have no problem holding out my punching in. I punch out at exactly 5pm without issue. My problem lies in my MM. She sits at my desk during lunch so she can let people in the building. She does not prepare herself to leave my desk until 4 minutes after I’ve returned from lunch. I have to quite my book reading 10 minutes early so I have time to pee, go get the mail, and wait for her. Some days my waiting changes. Sometimes she gets ready to leave when I show up. Sometimes she has stepped away from my desk and I punch myself out in her absence. More often than not, though she’ll sit here for several minutes talking to herself. Occasionally, she’ll be talking to someone else. One time, I waited 10 minutes because instead of saying, “Let’s move this conversation to my desk so I can get out of her away.” She sat in my chair and chatted with her boss. It was work related, yes. And it mildly required her to be at a computer, MILDLY. But it was rude nonetheless.

This is what I don’t like about “nice” people. “Nice” people are regular people who drop everything to listen to you. “Nice” people say “happy to serve you” and “glad I could be of assistance.” The down side of “nice” people is that if you’re not the one asking for a favor, if you’re not the most important person in the room, “nice” people put you last. “Nice” people don’t recognize that you are hourly and not salary and so it matters whether or not you come in on time/come back from lunch on time. “Nice” people ignore you and your project/meeting/plees for help because someone has decided to talk about their four-wheeling vacation. I realize that you're willing to give up your time and attention for other people, but I'm not willing to give mine up for you. So GTFO my chair.
Monday, I swear, I’m going to tell her to move. I am not going to be nice or considerate. I’m going to say “Listen, when I get back from bringing the mail in, would you at least minimize your computer screen to let me punch back in.” I will practice so I don’t say something passive aggressive like, “… so I don’t have to punch in 5 minutes late like I had to every single day last week” “… because sometimes you sit there for a long time talking to yourself and it would be less agitating to wait for you to move if I was already clocked back in” “…because, unlike you, I enjoy being a timely employee.”

Still work related, but about someone else:

“Do you have an appointment?”
“I haven’t gotten a hold of him but I’ve left several messages and told him I was coming.”
That doesn’t constitute as an appointment. When will people learn?!

me: Story:
there's this crazy audit lady
JD: Kiss
me: she came over to my desk before leaving and said (a little TOO dramatically): before I touch your door, I better get some of this (my germ-x) as I have a terrible cold!
and then held her hand under the pump and waited
Oh lady, you haven't met me have you
I was like ummm you can touch it
JD: lol
Ohh man
me: and then she argued with me
JD: did you end up pumping her lotion for her?
me: well i don't want to get my cold all over the pump
i was like it washes the germs right off. you can do it
JD: oh christ, I can just see the stand-off
me: "well i don't want other people to get my germs on them"
well if they're touching the pump, they'll wash all their germs right off. I don't want to touch it
eventually she did
JD: Way to hold out.
me: I'M NOT THE AUDITORS FREAKING SLAVE!


Dear Tim Horton’s,
Fruit Explosion muffin? Indeed!
Thanks,
Me