Imaginary conversations I have with myself

... or things I didn't have the balls to say at the time that sound kiss ass now.

(at work)
After a conversation in which Girl R says that she's thinking about quitting her job to commit herself to looking for something better, Girl Who Sits Next to Me at Work tells her she should because she'll probably find a job within a month, and me and Girl C shake our heads no and tell our unemployment stories. I should mention that GWSNTMAW may only be 22 and is a recent college graduate who was accepted into a PhD program with a fellowship she starts in August. She has also been working part time at the same deli since she was 18.
And SCENE
GWSNTMAW: What did you plan on doing with your degree?
Me: Fuck off. I'm sure you "plan" on getting tenure at your college of choice teaching 400 level British Literature after you finish school. What happens when no one will hire you and you have to teach English 101 at the local community college? What are you going to say when people ask you "Well, what did you plan on doing with your degree?" I planned on getting a full time job that paid a living wage and then saving enough and paying off enough of my student loans to feel financially secure in going back to school for a Masters in something that paid more than English. Look around, sweet pea, everyone here has an education, and none of us can find decent jobs. You're young, and smart, and you got lucky. Don't be such an asshole. And turn off your fucking cell phone; Pre-Doctorates don't sext their boyfriends from work.
END