Epic Fail.

The last several nights, I've had failure dreams. My mission is to complete a project, assignment, test, try-out. I always fail. Either I can't read the directions, everyone else is just faster than me, or I'm not even given the chance to compete. My dreams are starting to make me feel bad about myself.

I just watched Christina A's new video. It made me uncomfortable. Not the bondage parts, the parts with the auto tune, and the parts where I wasn't sure if I was watched Lady Gaga or Britney Spears. Xtina... you have a kid now. The vagina portion of your leather leotard is bedazzled. Look around. You're better than this!

Train... the band. Remember Train? They were popular around 2000-2001. They're still pushin it out. Their bassist looks just like Howie Mandel. Anyway, can you tell I'm watching JumpStart on VH1? Justin Bieber is on Today this morning, and it's a bit too early for screaming girls. Actually, I don't believe any amount of coffee suffices as "enough" to listen to screaming girls.

OH MY GOD VH1 just listed "Hanson" under coming releases! I LOVED Hanson when I was 12. I wanted to marry the drummer. Upon further Googling, he didn't end up as cute as I had hoped. Weren't they part of one of those religious groups who don't believe in birth control, home school their kids, and don't kiss until the wedding day?

"AO, welcome to Jeopardy! It says here, the other day you encountered a HUGE turtle on the path while walking your boyfriend's dog. Is that true?" "Thank you, Alex, and yes; Radar and I did run into a turtle on the path! And we almost ran over a snake on the bridge!" ... "Ok well... good luck today!"