Our weather today is, and I quote, "mostly sunny, fabulous" OK maybe not fabulous. But I forgot the word they did use because I was yelling at Radar to get out of my face.
Radar hasn't been eating. Eventually my safety badgering (but really just JD reading the website I sent him backing up my information) convinced JD to buy different dog food that she would eat. Well, she eats it and loves it and is now full of energy.
"I should go back to starving you" JD said while Radar was vertically jumping up to lick his face.
Remember when I was in college and I used to grocery shop alone and watch what everyone else was buying? Well, a woman at the store yesterday had the following in her cart:
1 can of men's Barbasol
2 full sized bottles of Scope
3 packages of women's disposable razors
4 cases of canned cat food
How curious!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Observation
To: Miley Cyrus
From: AO
Subject: Can't be tamed?
Dear Miley,
You're not wild. You're 17. Put some pants on.
Love,
AO
From: AO
Subject: Can't be tamed?
Dear Miley,
You're not wild. You're 17. Put some pants on.
Love,
AO
Saturday, June 5, 2010
can only be filled with strawberries and a bag of frosting
This morning, I weighted myself and I was 2 pounds less than I was last week. This is, of course, after 5 full days of walking or running each dog (usually taking about 1.5-2 hours total) in the morning and doing P90X at night. Plus, it's been hot; I've been sweating. I managed 1 week! My only other goal is to do it another full week.
Zumba. I did Zumba once, in college with my roommate, and was greatly disappointed. It was a packed room and I think we were just going off a DVD. I didn't sweat at all and never got out of breath. But we each got water bottles which we drank booze out of that evening!
I was going to post a photo of Adriana Lima and her husband because I just saw them with their new baby and everyone is gorgeous. However, her husband (a basketball [???] player) looks like a total idiot in every photo. She's making sex eyes at the camera, his eyes look like he was 11 into a 12 pack. She's pouting seductively or smiling, and he has a mustache.
Zumba. I did Zumba once, in college with my roommate, and was greatly disappointed. It was a packed room and I think we were just going off a DVD. I didn't sweat at all and never got out of breath. But we each got water bottles which we drank booze out of that evening!
I was going to post a photo of Adriana Lima and her husband because I just saw them with their new baby and everyone is gorgeous. However, her husband (a basketball [???] player) looks like a total idiot in every photo. She's making sex eyes at the camera, his eyes look like he was 11 into a 12 pack. She's pouting seductively or smiling, and he has a mustache.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Epic Fail.
The last several nights, I've had failure dreams. My mission is to complete a project, assignment, test, try-out. I always fail. Either I can't read the directions, everyone else is just faster than me, or I'm not even given the chance to compete. My dreams are starting to make me feel bad about myself.
I just watched Christina A's new video. It made me uncomfortable. Not the bondage parts, the parts with the auto tune, and the parts where I wasn't sure if I was watched Lady Gaga or Britney Spears. Xtina... you have a kid now. The vagina portion of your leather leotard is bedazzled. Look around. You're better than this!
Train... the band. Remember Train? They were popular around 2000-2001. They're still pushin it out. Their bassist looks just like Howie Mandel. Anyway, can you tell I'm watching JumpStart on VH1? Justin Bieber is on Today this morning, and it's a bit too early for screaming girls. Actually, I don't believe any amount of coffee suffices as "enough" to listen to screaming girls.
OH MY GOD VH1 just listed "Hanson" under coming releases! I LOVED Hanson when I was 12. I wanted to marry the drummer. Upon further Googling, he didn't end up as cute as I had hoped. Weren't they part of one of those religious groups who don't believe in birth control, home school their kids, and don't kiss until the wedding day?
"AO, welcome to Jeopardy! It says here, the other day you encountered a HUGE turtle on the path while walking your boyfriend's dog. Is that true?" "Thank you, Alex, and yes; Radar and I did run into a turtle on the path! And we almost ran over a snake on the bridge!" ... "Ok well... good luck today!"
I just watched Christina A's new video. It made me uncomfortable. Not the bondage parts, the parts with the auto tune, and the parts where I wasn't sure if I was watched Lady Gaga or Britney Spears. Xtina... you have a kid now. The vagina portion of your leather leotard is bedazzled. Look around. You're better than this!
Train... the band. Remember Train? They were popular around 2000-2001. They're still pushin it out. Their bassist looks just like Howie Mandel. Anyway, can you tell I'm watching JumpStart on VH1? Justin Bieber is on Today this morning, and it's a bit too early for screaming girls. Actually, I don't believe any amount of coffee suffices as "enough" to listen to screaming girls.
OH MY GOD VH1 just listed "Hanson" under coming releases! I LOVED Hanson when I was 12. I wanted to marry the drummer. Upon further Googling, he didn't end up as cute as I had hoped. Weren't they part of one of those religious groups who don't believe in birth control, home school their kids, and don't kiss until the wedding day?
"AO, welcome to Jeopardy! It says here, the other day you encountered a HUGE turtle on the path while walking your boyfriend's dog. Is that true?" "Thank you, Alex, and yes; Radar and I did run into a turtle on the path! And we almost ran over a snake on the bridge!" ... "Ok well... good luck today!"
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Just like Pam Houston and Lorrie Moore, right?
A.
-------------------
You know how sometimes you haven't talked to someone in a while and you start to wonder why? Then they Facebook message you to get together, and it's been so long you think it's a great idea. So you say yes and talk yourself into being excited. You're going to the movies, how bad could it be? Of course, 3 days after you ask them an important question like... oh... 'where are we meeting?' they haven't responded. So the night before, when you still haven't heard from them, you call. They don't answer and you leave a voicemail. A few minutes later, they text you (making you suspicious of screening) and they mention how they've been so busy, they haven't thought about it. So you end up going online and searching for a theater in the location they want. Giving them the information and having them be vague about a place and uncertain of a time. Not once will they mention what time is best for them. They let you pick, to be polite, you suppose. So you pick a location that is better for you and times that you prefer. Eventually, plans are made and the day moves on. Until the afternoon, when they text you to let you know that they're having a drama filled day and aren't sure about the movie, but they'll keep you posted.
It's time to leave and you haven't heard anything from them, so you assume all is well and they are going. 30 minutes before the movie is supposed to start, you get a text, which you don't read because you are driving to the theater. When you get to the theater, 20 minutes early, because you are a person who gets to movies early, you read the text. They have cancelled. Sorry!
Ahh yes. Now you remember why you don't talk to them more... they're a yucky person. They ask you to go out with them, they make you plan the date, and then they cancel short notice so you can't really do anything about it. You try to keep events like this in mind, you try to remind yourself that you should have expected this. It is not the first time. Unfortunatly, you tend to believe others act the way you would. You like to think that if someone couldn't make a certain time, they would mention it in the planning process instead of 30 minutes before you're supposed to meet them, because that's what a good friend would do. That is what you would do. That is not what they do.
-------------------
You know how sometimes you haven't talked to someone in a while and you start to wonder why? Then they Facebook message you to get together, and it's been so long you think it's a great idea. So you say yes and talk yourself into being excited. You're going to the movies, how bad could it be? Of course, 3 days after you ask them an important question like... oh... 'where are we meeting?' they haven't responded. So the night before, when you still haven't heard from them, you call. They don't answer and you leave a voicemail. A few minutes later, they text you (making you suspicious of screening) and they mention how they've been so busy, they haven't thought about it. So you end up going online and searching for a theater in the location they want. Giving them the information and having them be vague about a place and uncertain of a time. Not once will they mention what time is best for them. They let you pick, to be polite, you suppose. So you pick a location that is better for you and times that you prefer. Eventually, plans are made and the day moves on. Until the afternoon, when they text you to let you know that they're having a drama filled day and aren't sure about the movie, but they'll keep you posted.
It's time to leave and you haven't heard anything from them, so you assume all is well and they are going. 30 minutes before the movie is supposed to start, you get a text, which you don't read because you are driving to the theater. When you get to the theater, 20 minutes early, because you are a person who gets to movies early, you read the text. They have cancelled. Sorry!
Ahh yes. Now you remember why you don't talk to them more... they're a yucky person. They ask you to go out with them, they make you plan the date, and then they cancel short notice so you can't really do anything about it. You try to keep events like this in mind, you try to remind yourself that you should have expected this. It is not the first time. Unfortunatly, you tend to believe others act the way you would. You like to think that if someone couldn't make a certain time, they would mention it in the planning process instead of 30 minutes before you're supposed to meet them, because that's what a good friend would do. That is what you would do. That is not what they do.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
May or may not
It's been a while. I'm back to being unemployed and life isn't as entertaining when it's wake up, drink coffee, eat breakfast, walk dog, walk other dog, waste some time, eat lunch, take a shower, watch HIMYM, waste time, kiss boyfriend, make/eat dinner, waste time, work out, shower, watch tv go to bed.
I have several bug bites on my foot and it keeps me awake at night.
The other day, I met the neighbors, and they started the idea of "what would your Jeopardy background information be?" I can't think of a good one. "And now, AO, what's interesting about you is that you've been unemployed for quite some time now. You trained your dog? Good for you!"
Ugh, I feel super fat. So, here are some pictures of the kids.
I have several bug bites on my foot and it keeps me awake at night.
The other day, I met the neighbors, and they started the idea of "what would your Jeopardy background information be?" I can't think of a good one. "And now, AO, what's interesting about you is that you've been unemployed for quite some time now. You trained your dog? Good for you!"
Ugh, I feel super fat. So, here are some pictures of the kids.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
If my tummy could be making a face right now, it would be frowning
I'm having taco remorse, but throughout the day I've thought of topics that I have an opinion on.
1st:
I walked into the phone store today to get my new phone and the guy greeted me as sweetie. Very presumptuous. I didn't respond. My usual reaction when strangers say or do things to me that I don't feel are acceptable. He changed his course.
2nd:
So, Michigan won Miss USA. Fabulous. Then the pictures come out of her in a pole dancing contest for a local radio station. She was fully dressed. Why was this important? Why are people so surprised when beautiful woman turn out to be in pole dancing contests? Photographed making out with other chicks? Taking nude or otherwise racy portraits? They're gorgeous! If I looked like that I would ONLY be photographed topless. No one is perfect. Miss USA isn't a prude. Miss MI probably wasn't a virgin, either. Let's keep it real people.
3rd:
I watched a bit of True Life today where 2 engaged couples decided not to have sex in their relationship before marriage. I'm all for others doing as they please sexually and religiously. What makes my brow furrow is when they say things like "we decided not to kiss to assure that we wouldn't be tempted to do other things." If you don't want to have sex, you don't have sex. Saying kissing leads to sex is like saying getting in my car leads to Australia. My car can drive me to an airport which can then fly me to some countries, eventually stopping in the land down under, but there are many places to stop, many places to change my mind. Just because I got in my car, doesn't mean I have to go to Australia. Based on their theory, holding hands leads to marriage. Boy meets girl, boy and girl holds hand but never kiss, boy marries girl. I've seen it. Twice on TV alone.
Perhaps this post would have been better had I written it earlier when there wasn't a 7-layer burrito with gross rice sitting in my tummy bragging about its calories to my ab muscles.
1st:
I walked into the phone store today to get my new phone and the guy greeted me as sweetie. Very presumptuous. I didn't respond. My usual reaction when strangers say or do things to me that I don't feel are acceptable. He changed his course.
2nd:
So, Michigan won Miss USA. Fabulous. Then the pictures come out of her in a pole dancing contest for a local radio station. She was fully dressed. Why was this important? Why are people so surprised when beautiful woman turn out to be in pole dancing contests? Photographed making out with other chicks? Taking nude or otherwise racy portraits? They're gorgeous! If I looked like that I would ONLY be photographed topless. No one is perfect. Miss USA isn't a prude. Miss MI probably wasn't a virgin, either. Let's keep it real people.
3rd:
I watched a bit of True Life today where 2 engaged couples decided not to have sex in their relationship before marriage. I'm all for others doing as they please sexually and religiously. What makes my brow furrow is when they say things like "we decided not to kiss to assure that we wouldn't be tempted to do other things." If you don't want to have sex, you don't have sex. Saying kissing leads to sex is like saying getting in my car leads to Australia. My car can drive me to an airport which can then fly me to some countries, eventually stopping in the land down under, but there are many places to stop, many places to change my mind. Just because I got in my car, doesn't mean I have to go to Australia. Based on their theory, holding hands leads to marriage. Boy meets girl, boy and girl holds hand but never kiss, boy marries girl. I've seen it. Twice on TV alone.
Perhaps this post would have been better had I written it earlier when there wasn't a 7-layer burrito with gross rice sitting in my tummy bragging about its calories to my ab muscles.
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