If my tummy could be making a face right now, it would be frowning

I'm having taco remorse, but throughout the day I've thought of topics that I have an opinion on.

1st:
I walked into the phone store today to get my new phone and the guy greeted me as sweetie. Very presumptuous. I didn't respond. My usual reaction when strangers say or do things to me that I don't feel are acceptable. He changed his course.

2nd:
So, Michigan won Miss USA. Fabulous. Then the pictures come out of her in a pole dancing contest for a local radio station. She was fully dressed. Why was this important? Why are people so surprised when beautiful woman turn out to be in pole dancing contests? Photographed making out with other chicks? Taking nude or otherwise racy portraits? They're gorgeous! If I looked like that I would ONLY be photographed topless. No one is perfect. Miss USA isn't a prude. Miss MI probably wasn't a virgin, either. Let's keep it real people.

3rd:
I watched a bit of True Life today where 2 engaged couples decided not to have sex in their relationship before marriage. I'm all for others doing as they please sexually and religiously. What makes my brow furrow is when they say things like "we decided not to kiss to assure that we wouldn't be tempted to do other things." If you don't want to have sex, you don't have sex. Saying kissing leads to sex is like saying getting in my car leads to Australia. My car can drive me to an airport which can then fly me to some countries, eventually stopping in the land down under, but there are many places to stop, many places to change my mind. Just because I got in my car, doesn't mean I have to go to Australia. Based on their theory, holding hands leads to marriage. Boy meets girl, boy and girl holds hand but never kiss, boy marries girl. I've seen it. Twice on TV alone.

Perhaps this post would have been better had I written it earlier when there wasn't a 7-layer burrito with gross rice sitting in my tummy bragging about its calories to my ab muscles.

2 days worth

(taken from 89X listeners)
Things women think are sexy but actually aren’t:
Strip tease – unless you’re an amazing dancer and have a hot body (chances are there’s a reason you’re not doing it professionally)
Balls in your mouth
Steve Bouchemey
Biting hard
Food (whip cream, cherries, etc)
Fishnet stockings
Painted on eyebrows
To much makeup
Lipstick, lip gloss
Colored contacts
Fake things: hair, nails, colors, speech (saying things from movies in romantic moments), tan
Wearing clothes that don’t fit
No underpants

Things men think are sexy that aren’t:
Driving without a shirt on
Cutting the sleeves off of a shirt
Using a “sexy voice” over the phone
Clothes that are too baggy or too tight, being able to see a bulge, being able to see their man boobs
Biting
Dirty talk (sometimes)
Calling a woman “mommie”
Popped collars
Tongue in ear
Penis dancing
Full face, long beards, just the mustache
The soul patch
Licking eye balls

Good things:
Coffee
The huge plagiarism project being easy as opposed to difficult.
My boyfriend.
11.5 oz.s of coffee for $2.50
Taking the time to double check something before asking someone else thus solving my own problem.
The guy next door leaving me candy.

Medium things:
Having lots to do at work (good), but not enough time to do all of it (not good).
Things happening for a reason.

Bad things:
People who don’t double check things before asking you thus making you (unrelated 3rd party) do the grunt work for their lazy ass.
Figuring it would be easier to plagiarize a driving form instead of searching for it cheaper on the internet.
One time at work I was in the bathroom and I heard the bell that someone was here. When I got out of the bathroom, the guy was still there and the only other coworker in the office was sitting at his desk (approx. 10 feet from the door). I asked the guy if he had been helped, he said no, so I talked to him. I hate how my coworker will ignore guests when he feels like it, and other times I’ll be talking to a salesman and just about to get rid of him, when my coworker shows up and basically repeats everything I just said to him. Unnecessary.
The phone rang 3 times, before I answered it which shouldn’t happen with 3 people working. No other line was lit up. Jen complained that Suzie was dicking around checking her personal email and texting; Jen said she was on the phone. Since no other lines were lit up, she was on her cell. Oh my.

9:07am (at work, internal monologue): Man I really want some tacos… volcano nachos! I think I smell tacos and that’s why I want tacos. Why would I suddenly smell tacos? What is the essence of the taco smell? Fresh lettuce and tomatoes with cilantro. Cilantro? Or is it salsa? Combination.

I do honestly believe everything happens for a reason. I do honestly get frustrated when reason has more patience than I do.

2 hours of work... 8 hours of day

The radio this morning was talking about how women shouldn’t consider dating an unemployed man. I agree. It was then stated that if you don’t have a job, you shouldn’t even be trying to date. I agree. Chuck kept saying that he would have a list and if you fell under any of the categories (which included smoking pot, and having 2 kids by 2 different men), he would immediately cross you off. A woman called in and said that when she met her boyfriend, he was unemployed but that didn’t mean he was unable to take care of her family. Even though he couldn’t provide financially, he would help out around the house, cook, clean, and take care of her 2 kids (by 2 different dads), and that he was wonderful. Here’s the point: everyone has standards. Generally speaking, people will allow for lower standards in others if they are currently in a low standard situation. I live at home. If I met someone and they decided not to date me because I don’t live independently, I wouldn’t blame them. If I lived on my own and I met someone who lived at home, I probably wouldn’t date them. Since this woman has babies whose only relation to each other is through her, her standards aren’t going to be really high. Most men are turned off by a woman who has kids, let alone 2, let alone with 2 different baby daddies. If she finds the one guy who isn’t going to run away, she’s going to keep him job or no job.

Next on the radio is naked parties. Would I go to a nude beach? Probably. If I was on my honeymoon, or I was looking to have a threesome. Would I go to a partially clothed beach? Definitely. All situations go. Would I go to a naked party? No. Do I think the girl on the radio who said at midnight pants come off is Janelle? Janelle? Is that you? Yes.

Radio Topic #3: The girl got proposed to 5 times. If you turn down the proposal, do you stay friends? No.
If I didn’t want to marry someone, I would not accept the proposal … unless it was in public. I am very against the public proposal, but if some guy did that and I wasn’t interested, I would say yes and then the second we were alone, I would renege my answer.

Best snack ever*:
Start with a regular flat tortilla
Smear refried beans in a thin layer on top.
Cover the whole tortilla, leaving just a little space around the edges
On top of the beans, spread a thin layer of sour cream
Add your favorite heat of Taco Bell sauce packet in a zig zag pattern
Optional toppings**:
Lettuce leaves
Black olive slices
Guacamole
Once desired inside is completed, start at one end and roll up snack like you were rolling up a rug. Add tooth picks to hold and slice on an angle.
*Not for people who don’t like tacos.
**Don’t add too many things, or you won’t be able roll up the wrap.
Delicious!

You know what’s silly? People calling someone back without knowing who they are calling.
“Hi this is Jim with Magna Manufacturing. Someone from there called me but I didn’t write their name down. I’m returning their call.”
Fabulous. I page the call and no one answers. So I call someone internally and ask if they called him.
“That sounds familiar. I most definitely did.”
Thanks for answering the page. You’re really making my morning efficient.

I work for the inner city public school of businesses.