Listing annoying people is OK

It’s true: I’m getting to be an old crotchety lady. I like Tim Horton’s. I like Canada. I do not like the TH’s by my house. I like the guy who works Thursday mornings and make the good mochas. I do not like the tiny dark haired woman who acts like I’m ruining her day by walking into the store.

This morning, though, was the worst. I walked in to see 4 people standing around with their arms crossed over their chests. No one was in the drive thru; I was the only person in the store. When I got to the register, no one moved; they just looked at each other with a huffy “I’m too good for this” face (and believe me, I know the face, I make it all the time.) One of the girls said “you take her” and the other shuffled over unnecessarily slow, rolling her eyes the entire way. I placed my order; I said please and thank you. The gay guy with the goatee walked over as slowly as possible, made my coffee, tossed it onto the counter, and walked as slowly as possible back to his bitching post where he started. It’s like everyone who works there has pennies shoved up their ass and if they fall out, you’re fired. Their behavior was completely disrespectful. I just wanted to scream, “I CAN SEE YOU! I AM A CUSTOMER AND I CAN SEE YOU! DO YOU THINK THIS IS HOW CANADA WANTS TO BE REPRESENTED?!”

Listen, I get it. I worked at Dairy Queen. I worked for $6/hr. I worked at 7am. I don’t have high expectations. My expectations include you not defecating (or anything else) on my food, and you doing your job.
So, I made a formal complaint with TH’s. That’s right… I’m that person. I WILL NOT send food back in a restaurant or even order something else, but I will passive aggressively compose a witty complaint to your corporation.

One time, I got my hair cut by this robust angry lady, who didn’t cut part of my hair. I called the place the next day, asked to speak to the manager, told her the lady didn’t cut my bangs (and gave me a shitty hair cut, but that wasn’t a big deal because it’s hair and it will grow back. See what I do? I prove I’m a reasonable person. I relate and I say it’s ok, but you pushed it too far.) When she asked me who cut my hair, I told her I didn’t know her name because she never introduced herself. I heard the woman gasp on the other line. This wasn’t super cuts either. I pay $45 + $10 tip for the good chick. The crappy woman still works there, but the nice girl who cut my bangs became my new stylist. Except she’s too expensive for a trim so I don’t see her anymore.

I don’t like my job all the time either. Not just this current job, but many of my previous jobs. The trick is to be as unhappy as possible when people aren’t watching. Get all your whining out to your boyfriend, your best friend, your mom, your blog. And when people whose comments and observations of your behavior have the potential to directly affect your job, you smile so your mouth stays shut.
Unless that person is trying to get you to pump the hand sanitizer. You gotta stand for something, right?

Two guys came in for a Co-Worker who is notorious for making people wait for him. He is also notorious for talking on his blue tooth headset while peeing and then not washing his hands, but I digress. These 2 guys came in at 10:04am. I paged the Co-Worker at 10:05. I called him on his cell phone at 10:08. “Co-Worker, you have 2 men here for you.” “O RLY?” “Yes.” “I’ll be right up; thanks.” He came up to the front office at 10:18. He then went into someone’s office. One of the guys creeped around the window I have at 10:20 and at 10:22 asked if Co-Worker knew they were here. “Yes. He knows you’re here, he just stepped into an office.” At 10:25 he walked out and someone stopped him to chat. He said, “Oh it’s OK I’ve just got these guys.” Eventually, he lets these guys in. While they’re signing in, he walked away to check his email and was gone 5 minutes. Someone else set them up in a conference room.
Co-Worker is an asshole for treating these guys like they’re interrupting his time.
I’m an asshole who didn’t think to ask if they should go into a conference room.
Work Fail.

While I’m at it, you know who else I don’t like? Guy At Work Who Takes 30 Seconds To Respond To Everything You Say. You know that guy or gal. They ask you something, you immediately answer, they stare at you or off into the distance for 30 seconds before responding. It’s annoying because you’re not sure if you should be waiting for them to say something else or if they’re just coming to you via satellite.

I didn't mean to complain...

Minor complaint: I am an hourly employee and therefore cannot work over 40 hours. Cannot. I don’t know whether or not I’ll get paid for going over 40 but I was told not to try. That’s ok. I’m quite accurate. I come in a few minutes early and have no problem holding out my punching in. I punch out at exactly 5pm without issue. My problem lies in my MM. She sits at my desk during lunch so she can let people in the building. She does not prepare herself to leave my desk until 4 minutes after I’ve returned from lunch. I have to quite my book reading 10 minutes early so I have time to pee, go get the mail, and wait for her. Some days my waiting changes. Sometimes she gets ready to leave when I show up. Sometimes she has stepped away from my desk and I punch myself out in her absence. More often than not, though she’ll sit here for several minutes talking to herself. Occasionally, she’ll be talking to someone else. One time, I waited 10 minutes because instead of saying, “Let’s move this conversation to my desk so I can get out of her away.” She sat in my chair and chatted with her boss. It was work related, yes. And it mildly required her to be at a computer, MILDLY. But it was rude nonetheless.

This is what I don’t like about “nice” people. “Nice” people are regular people who drop everything to listen to you. “Nice” people say “happy to serve you” and “glad I could be of assistance.” The down side of “nice” people is that if you’re not the one asking for a favor, if you’re not the most important person in the room, “nice” people put you last. “Nice” people don’t recognize that you are hourly and not salary and so it matters whether or not you come in on time/come back from lunch on time. “Nice” people ignore you and your project/meeting/plees for help because someone has decided to talk about their four-wheeling vacation. I realize that you're willing to give up your time and attention for other people, but I'm not willing to give mine up for you. So GTFO my chair.
Monday, I swear, I’m going to tell her to move. I am not going to be nice or considerate. I’m going to say “Listen, when I get back from bringing the mail in, would you at least minimize your computer screen to let me punch back in.” I will practice so I don’t say something passive aggressive like, “… so I don’t have to punch in 5 minutes late like I had to every single day last week” “… because sometimes you sit there for a long time talking to yourself and it would be less agitating to wait for you to move if I was already clocked back in” “…because, unlike you, I enjoy being a timely employee.”

Still work related, but about someone else:

“Do you have an appointment?”
“I haven’t gotten a hold of him but I’ve left several messages and told him I was coming.”
That doesn’t constitute as an appointment. When will people learn?!

me: Story:
there's this crazy audit lady
JD: Kiss
me: she came over to my desk before leaving and said (a little TOO dramatically): before I touch your door, I better get some of this (my germ-x) as I have a terrible cold!
and then held her hand under the pump and waited
Oh lady, you haven't met me have you
I was like ummm you can touch it
JD: lol
Ohh man
me: and then she argued with me
JD: did you end up pumping her lotion for her?
me: well i don't want to get my cold all over the pump
i was like it washes the germs right off. you can do it
JD: oh christ, I can just see the stand-off
me: "well i don't want other people to get my germs on them"
well if they're touching the pump, they'll wash all their germs right off. I don't want to touch it
eventually she did
JD: Way to hold out.
me: I'M NOT THE AUDITORS FREAKING SLAVE!


Dear Tim Horton’s,
Fruit Explosion muffin? Indeed!
Thanks,
Me