Scenes from a couch

JD (with a crumb filled can of Pringles): I'll let you drink the rest of the chips.

LOVE

Scenes from a party planner

JD and I are attending my corporate holiday event. It is formal.
In unrelated information, he asked me to bring him home a tripple chocolate donut from Tim Hortons today.

Me: GET YOUR FANCY SHOES ON WE'RE GOING TO A PARTY!
Him: I need to start starving myself to fit into my suit.
Me: We can buy you some Spanx. I'll be wearing them.
Him: Hah. I'll start doing sit ups and push ups.
Him: !!! I need to start them after I eat my Donut.

Sunday morning, a comic strip

In writing, JD drank a lot Saturday night. He left a bottle with about 20% of the beer left in the bottom, on the floor. I should mention here, that he has allowed Radar to lick the empty beer bottles. When I woke up Sunday morning, JD wasn't in bed. He was in the guest room sleeping on his old bed. I went in there for a while, but couldn't stop thinking about Sunday Morning on CBS, the Sunday news, and juice. I got out of bed and walked downstairs to find Radar furiously licking the carpet. Upon further examination, I found the beer bottle shoved under the couch. So, at 8:30am Sunday morning, I had to move the couch and clean the carpet to get the beer stains out.

In other news, I endorse this:

See? I'm not dead. AND I got a camera for my birthday

Grinds my gears

I am very specific and detailed when I explain a problem. VERY. I type and rewrite and take out the crap and stick to the important points.

Example: We have a new way to clock in at work. It doesn't work for me. I followed the directions exactly and took screen shots of the pages I get when I try and clock in, and sent them to the admin guy in charge. I specifically stated IN RED that I click the "record time" AND it DOES NOT send me to the confirmation page. I specifically stated that I DO NOT click "log on"

I get an email back: "You will need to click record time stamp after typing in your user name and password"

Are you fuckin with me?

So I send him an email back, stating AGAIN that I AM clicking "record time."

He calls me.
"Are you clicking record time stamp?"

I can't make this shit up.

"Do you see the pictures I sent you? You see how "record time" is underlined? That's because I had my mouse over it to show that I am indeed clicking "record time""

Also, perhaps, THE 2 E-MAILS I SENT THAT CLEARLY SAID I AM CLICKING RECORD TIME.

Note to self:

List of things to buy:
TV for bedroom
Eliptical
Dresser for bedroom
Contacts

To Whom it May Concern

Open letter to people who work for a large company:
Please note there is a difference between "reply" and "reply all." What is that difference you may ask? Well, I guess I'm not surprised you don't know since you continue to press "reply all" when, based on your e-mail, it is clear you should have pressed "reply." You see, "reply" sends your response to the immediate person who sent you the e-mail. Example: I send you, and 3 other co-workers an e-mail. If your response is really just for me, you hit "reply" so your e-mail doesn't get sent to the 3 other co-workers unnecessarily. "Reply all" sends your e-mail to everyone the sender sent to. Example: I send you and 3 other co-workers an e-mail. Your response is meant for, and necessary for, all e-mail recipients. You press "reply all."

Perhaps you already knew the difference, but honestly feel like an entire company wants to know that you, indeed, are a notary and can help out Jeremy with his notary needs. Let me clarify something, we don't care. Also, quit wasting my time to check and then delete e-mails where you are actually having a conversation with one other person. Here is a hint to tell when you should press "reply" instead of "reply all" your e-mail concerns, question, or comment are truly meant for only 1 or 2 people. If you can tell me what my name is, I will allow you to include me in your useless e-mails.

Regards,
AO