Clearly it's a ghost with a whistle!

That's right. I'm not looking for a job and I'm sitting eating potato chips.

So this is parts of my July horoscope off Astrologyzone.com with my comments and current observations:
Hold on to your hat, dear Libra. With two major eclipses due to soon hit the top and bottom houses of your chart, you are about to see some massive changes at home and in your career. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit that you feel you've come to master your present life just fine and you are up for a new adventure. You need change, and that's precisely what the universe is about to bring you.
This is me: holding onto said hat.

If you were born October 7 or within five days of this date, you will feel the July 7 eclipse in a powerful way.
I wasn't.

If your birthday falls closer to October 22, plus or minus five days, you will feel the July 22 eclipse in a powerful way.
Nope.

The first eclipse on July 7 will bring a full moon lunar eclipse to your fourth house, bringing a surprise development concerning a home or family matter or in regard to a pending real estate deal. A full moon always brings a finish. This, being a full moon lunar eclipse, suggests that a female who is attached to your household - a roommate, housekeeper, nanny, or your mother or other female relative - may be leaving or moving away. This is a positive eclipse, for Saturn will be extremely comforting and supportive, ensuring whatever changes you make now will be in place a long time.
There are other ways this lunar eclipse July 7 may affect you. You may need to clear out a space - yours or that of a parent - perhaps because you or your parent is moving, or because you may be doing a refurbishing or reconstruction project. This process of clearing out possessions may make you sentimental as you prepare for the next chapter of your life. That's normal, dear Libra, but unless you do clear out the past you can't get ready for the future. I know, sometimes knowing this doesn't really help very much. You will be quite happy again after this process is completed, so keep that in mind.
Today is July 8th. My mom told me today that I had to clean because a realtor is coming to our hosue to establish the actual value for the divorce.

Elsewhere in your chart, during the first part of July, Mars will put a strong emphasis on your finances in your eighth house of other people's money, credit, taxes, and other such funds. This trend started in late April and has continued through May, so you probably have been spending more lately. Even if you wanted to cut down on your spending, it appeared you weren't too successful at holding the line. Don't worry, however, because this expensive phase is due to end after July 11.
I like the idea of "other people's money" I'm hoping very much that the expensive phase stops because I don't have any of my own money and I have yet to see anyone else's money. Of course I haven't been spending much because I there isn't any money so I'm not totally sure what this is all about.

You will receive a lot of good financial assistance from Mars and Uranus too, specifically (and coincidentally) on the same day as the eclipse, July 7. This day is quite fortunate for gaining a bit of money. If you find you're in the mood to buy a scratch-off lotto ticket, do so just for fun. When it comes to money, you will have the lucky touch on this day. I am not sure if your bundle of cash will be earned, given, loaned, or won. It does look like at least a small amount will find its way to your door near July 7.
Well, July 7th came and I bought a lottery ticket. The Mega Millions (go big or go home, right?) and it lost. It lost without even coming close to being near the numbers. My mom (whose lottery tickets I purchased) won her money back. She spent two of those dollars on a lottery ticket that reminded her of me. It lost. Twice. You know what "bit of money" I gained? 53 cents from change left in the coin collector at Kroger.

Last month you had a new moon in the same area of your chart on June 22, the tenth house of honors, achievement, and fame. If you had an interesting conversation about a new position, or were pitching a new client, or had other fascinating career developments last month, you will be able to bring talks to a new level this month. It's unusual to have two new moons in a row falling in the same part of the chart, but that's what we have here. To have one new moon be a solar eclipse is even more unusual. This is good news, because if you are serious about changing your job, this solar eclipse will open a path. Solar eclipses are quite exciting!
In all honesty, I did go on a job interview last month within 2 days of that date. So I'll keep on employment searching.

Along with other changes you may make on the job, there will be other shifts taking place around you. A high level boss, most likely a male, may announce that he's leaving the firm, much to everyone's amazement. This will be someone you report to, not a co-worker, and someone you probably thought was a permanent fixture of the company. This person may leave on his own volition or will be forced out. Your job could easily change as a result. You may be wondering why I say this will be a "male." An eclipse of the Sun always points to a masculine person, and because this eclipse is happening in your tenth house of fame and career status, it would be an authority figure at your office who will be "eclipsed out" of your life.
INTERESTING!

It looks as though one of your friends will be instrumental in your success, and I say this because the Sun rules your eleventh house of friendship. Someone you know may give you a tip that leads you to a stunning opportunity. If you belong to a club, this group may also be helpful. Even if you find you are forced to look for a job this month (and I am not saying that will be the case, but if this is true for you), don't bemoan your situation - the universe will be doing you a favor. You are moving toward a much better situation.
SO If anyone has any tips, I'll grab a note pad and a pen.

It's best if you initiate the changes. Changes emanating from within you are often more organic, stemming from dreams and wishes that reside deep inside you. Having said that, I will admit that sometimes interesting offers do stem from the outside, too. They send us down new paths, ones that we would never investigate any other way and they help us develop latent talents. So actually, the more I think about it, all sorts of changes, no matter where they emanate from, are valuable. Fortunately you are a cardinal air sign, so you are one to embrace all that is new. Good, dear Libra!
I suppose all I'm really taking from my horoscope this month is the idea of change. I will do something each day that is out of the norm for me in situation, routine, or experience. Do one thing every day that scares you. Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.

The weekend of July 18-19 should be stellar, what with the moon in Gemini on Friday night and all day Saturday, and the Sun getting golden beams from surprise-a-minute Uranus. Wow!
I'll keep you posted.


PS
As documentation, I predict JD will move September 19-22 +/- 3 days.
If I win, he buys me soup at Big Boy.
If he wins, (and I have a full time job) I'll buy him breakfast at the Lyon Grill.

You're not cool unless you pee yoru pants

Yesterday I stopped to listen to the valedictorian speech from one of the local high schools on the public station. It was awful. I may have missed the beginning, but I believe he said that he was comparing his actual high school experience to the high schools in his favorite “childhood movies” Which included: Fast Time and Ridgemont High, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, etc. My problem with this is that kids graduating from high school in 2009 were born in 1991 and all of those movies came out in the 80’s. The people in those movies have kids older than the graduating class of 2009. Why you gotta be frontin’? Those are not movies from your childhood. You weren’t even born yet. Acceptable movies from your childhood would be: She’s All That, Clueless, Cruel Intentions, Dead Man On Campus, Bring it On, etc.

Today at work, Santa called and showed up on the caller ID. How bad are times that Santa needs a part time job?

Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Dream me is sexually frustrated

I was having a sex dream with my dream boss's dream husband. We had a nice foreplay of drawing on eachother with crayons (unbelievably hot, how weird) and we were just about to have sex when my alarm went off. I had to wait listening to country music (because it's the only station I get) until I could wake up from REM sleep to push snooze and then not go back to my dream.

Then I turned on the news; Derek VanDam always makes my morning better. But it's not time for the weather and instead I get the guy I don't really like telling me about some shooting or fire or something in Saginaw. Ok, fine, this is why I don't like the news, whatever. Newscaster goes into who has died in the war today. OK another reason why I don't watch the news, fine, though, I need to put a shirt on and Derek needs to tell me what to wear.. I'm still waiting for the weather. Newscaster --literally-- begins a montage of who has died in 2006. It's 6 o'clock in the morning. I don't need to know everyone who had died today, yesterday, and the past year this early. You've gotta let me get some OJ before making me think life is worthless.

All my days have such potential for not sucking and then whoops my dream sex gets interrupted and instead of the weather I get a wake, my boss tells me instead of 15 hours of work this week, I only get 5.

When I was a kid, they called me "Whiner 49er" I bet you're wondering why.

Pros and Cons Paragraph?

In exact measures, how stupid would I be to pass up a job offer this month for a potentially better offer next month… based on my horoscope? It’s a risky move. The horoscope is right about 40% of the time, maybe. I don’t calculate all instances. But when it’s right, it seems to be dead on. I guess the better question is, how long can I financially survive on 20 hours a week? I’ll find out tomorrow when my direct deposit goes through. Theoretically, I’ll be making half what I did at 40 hours so… very little. Very little times four equals less than my monthly bills cost (before gas and food). Oh sigh. If I spent $800 last month, and I spend $800 this month and next month, I probably won’t need to get into my savings until month 3. I find it rather unlikely I can only spend $800 a month for the next couple months. I guess it’s possible. I’ve done it before. It just sucks. But what sucks more: operating on as little as possible or driving through Detroit everyday? I would get to buy a GPS, new shoes, and a couple new shirts while still paying all my bills and saving money. I might get fat. I might get mugged. I might get my car with my new GPS and my new shoes stolen. But at least it’s not a lateral move.

No good news

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The flashlight is on the speakers

I threw my Nalgene away with the diapers at work today. I went back later and fished it out of the garbage. Gentlemen, please, one at a time. There is enough of my awesomeness to go around.



Thursday, December 21, 2006

I want you to know why story-truth is truer sometimes than happening truth.

This is a true story about my daycare boss, Polly.

She needed to get a battery for her [or someone else's car] she called Napa, got Jeff, told me about it. I told her Jeff is a character. More things were said. I told her about how he tried to leave a girl, drunk, in the middle of a field because she wouldn't leave him alone. Polly goes into a story and these are her (very close to) exact words: (I love that I am a writer. "You writer types, you've got long memories." -Tim O'Brien):

I had some younger friends. I don't know why I call them younger, they were my brother's age (two years younger than I am) but back then they just felt really young. Anyway, we all got drunk at this party and I was about 21 so I was still new at getting drunk. And anyway, I went out for a ride with my brother's friend and he took me to this field and said if I didn't... (do it) he would leave me there. So, I did it! And it was great! I still remember the song on the radio [names the song]. Oh gosh, it was great.

WHO TELLS PEOPLE THESE THINGS?!

Really, though, I love that she tells me things like this because my peer group of friends don't tell me about the inappropriate sex they have. Oddly enough.
It made me kinda sad, though; I'm 22 and I have no oh my god it was amazing sex stories. I feel like I'm missing my prime years. Don't misunderstand me, I've had sex, and it was good, but where's my crawling on the floor "I can't believe that just happened!" stories? No making out in the rain. No making out in a car. Would you do it on a train? Well, Dr. Seuss, I never have.


Life update: I have.

Someone play the numbers: 532 or 0532 and then give me half the money

Number of jobs applied to today: 2. Fail. I updated my resume on all the sites though.

Since I feel like a life failure, I'm pasting old Myspace blog entries.

Friday July 21, 2006

I B&E'd my apartment today.
"Three juice boxes for six kids? It's gonna be like Lord of the Flies out there!"
But this is funnier.

November 14, 2006

I'm pretty sure the purpose of the GRE is not to show how smart you are, but how much you'll study for a chance at higher education. Or, perhaps, its purpose is to simply weed out those who are not willing to feel like a complete moron for 3 months before taking a 4 hour exam that they had to pay (lots of) money for.

One of the 2, man one of the 2.

Also, how does it happen that you hate someone for something they did to someone else? You know what I mean. You see someone and immediately you think, "Ew I hate them" and then wonder why. Hate by association, is it really worth it? I think so. Because really, how many people do you need to be kind to? Eventually the kindness runs out and you become a horrible person. So, in conclusion, you have to hate some people for no reason so you can like others for no reason. It's all about balance.

P.S. I think I just saw BGJ going into the woman's bathroom. That is so cheating.

P.P.S. false alarm.



Believe me, it gets better.

Sacrifice is the name of the game

Time spent at a paying job: 5 hrs
Time spent working out: 1 hr
Number of better/another paying jobs applied for: IIII

I now work 20 hrs/week so 3 of us can stay on teh payroll. They laid off approx. 10 employees. It wasn't a fabulous day.

Life fail moment: Not that money existed for this to happen, but if I had gotten my Master's in English (or anything for that matter) I could teach it. Not that I'd want to teach it. But I'd have a job that would pay decent and that would be good.

SYTYCD commentary:
First, general notes.It is widely obvious to me that the producers chose dancers who could improve. They picked fabulously mediocre dancers who will, throughout the season, become better and better. I’m not totally sure why they did this, but my guess is ratings. America can’t dance. America doesn’t understand dancing. America doesn’t want to vote for the “best” dancer. They want to vote for the dancer they like the most. That’s why Benji won. That’s why the douchebag hip hop dancer stayed on longer than his fabulous partner. It appears they’ve given up on finding phenomenal dancers.Nigel rarely said anything about the actual dancers or their performances. He frequently referred back to previous seasons and their dancers/dances. This is less for nostalgic reasons than for the fact that he knows they didn’t pick the best dancers. But he can’t say, “I expected you to dance that piece with minimal effort because you are a minimally talented dancer. Good job.”

Sadly, I can't find the actual dances online anymore so I'll just say this: Wade was the best.

Only one natural disaster at a time, please

Today, one of the salesmen asked me to "patch" them "over" and it remided me of the time Hank told me he had someone "on the horn." I giggled about that for quick some time.

At Wal-Mart, I saw a small child in a cart playing with his mom's wallet. He had opened the coin receptacle and was pulling out change then dropping it on the floor. His mom took back her wallet, picked up the coins from the ground, took the change he was still holding away from him, and put it all back in her purse. Despite that, the child was still reaching, trying to get the coins back. He wasn't fussing or whining, just stretching his arm out to get the wallet back.
I don't think anyone ever stops doing that.

Man hitting on me at the park: jeans; tee-shirt; mid to late thirties; one divorce (no kids); creepy face; hand waving downward so that if I don't respond it's because I didn't see his hand, not because I'm not interested.
Me being hit on at the park: black yoga pants, one size too large; neutral tan tank top (racerback); sunglasses taking up 1/5 of my face; earbuds; noticed waving hand and chose to ignore it because I'm not interested.