I'm not having a great day.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Appetizer and dessert
Just to start, I wish I owned a Snuggie. I have a fleece blanket around my lower half... but my arms are cold despite my long sleeves.
Now on to the main course:
There is some back story to my ice cream story. I'm lactose intolerant. I didn't find "lactose pills" until I was 18 or 19. I still ate ice cream, but it made me sick and poop. I would eat superman ice cream on occasion. Orange sherbet was a favorite. If my dad went to Dairy Queen, I always got a twist in a cup. In college (some of my fattest days, I believe) I figured out how to use the on campus convenience stores with my "flex" money. There, I found my beloved:
OMGITWASSOGOOD. Sadly, it WAS. They discontinued it sometime around my junior year those bastards. I LOVED that ice cream. It made me sick and I still ate half of it in an evening and the other half the next day and wanted more. If that ice cream had made bits of my legs fall off... this couch would be a wheelchair and I would have no regrets.
Last year Starbucks came out with chocolates. Or at least, I found them last year. I held off buying the Caramel Macchiato ones until they went on sale. They never went on sale. Sometimes after Christmas, I found them for less at Big Lots. They were a minor disappointment.
Starbucks also makes ice cream and just like the coffee, it's a bit much for a pint. Last night, it was on sale for $2 at Walmart. I rock-paper-scissored JD over it and I bought it.
OMGITISSOGOOD! It's just like One Sweet Whirled except it doesn't have marshmallow which, if we're being honest here, was always a wash. Go to Walmart and spend the $2 because you will not be disappointed.
Now on to the main course:
There is some back story to my ice cream story. I'm lactose intolerant. I didn't find "lactose pills" until I was 18 or 19. I still ate ice cream, but it made me sick and poop. I would eat superman ice cream on occasion. Orange sherbet was a favorite. If my dad went to Dairy Queen, I always got a twist in a cup. In college (some of my fattest days, I believe) I figured out how to use the on campus convenience stores with my "flex" money. There, I found my beloved:
OMGITWASSOGOOD. Sadly, it WAS. They discontinued it sometime around my junior year those bastards. I LOVED that ice cream. It made me sick and I still ate half of it in an evening and the other half the next day and wanted more. If that ice cream had made bits of my legs fall off... this couch would be a wheelchair and I would have no regrets.
Last year Starbucks came out with chocolates. Or at least, I found them last year. I held off buying the Caramel Macchiato ones until they went on sale. They never went on sale. Sometimes after Christmas, I found them for less at Big Lots. They were a minor disappointment.
Starbucks also makes ice cream and just like the coffee, it's a bit much for a pint. Last night, it was on sale for $2 at Walmart. I rock-paper-scissored JD over it and I bought it.
OMGITISSOGOOD! It's just like One Sweet Whirled except it doesn't have marshmallow which, if we're being honest here, was always a wash. Go to Walmart and spend the $2 because you will not be disappointed.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I get all my news from The View and The Today Show and NPR
Apparently, Howard Stern said the Precious star is too fat for Hollywood. People are pissed and are disputing it. Really? Really? You're going to disagree? I was listening to a interview on NPR with the director of the movie. He said he told his casting director he wanted a 300 pound girl and the other line went silent. There simply weren't actors of that size on the docket. Also, the mom of the movie was supposed to be larger than the daughter. But they hired Mo'Nique despite her smaller size. I'm pretty sure they couldn't find an even larger actress. Let's be real here people. Just because it's wrong doesn't mean it's not true. Lots of things are wrong and shouldn't happen and shouldn't be true... but the fact is... they're true!
That skinny chick who does events with Ryan Seacrest and has her own show with her husband wants to have a baby. I haven't watched all the episodes, but I did watch the one where they babysat for 24 hours, didn't get any work or anything done, did it all the next day sans children, and said they could handle their lives as they are now with children in them. That's the shit you hear on 16 and Pregnant. Her Dr. told her she needed to gain 10 pounds for her body to be ready for a baby. She has stated in interviews that she is wary about trying to gain 5. Maybe she has body image issues or an eating disorder. Or maybe she has clauses in her contract that say she cannot get fat. I wouldn't be surprised.
The womanly image of Hollywood has changed over time, indeed. But just because curves are mildly more acceptable nowadays doesn't mean a 300 pound actress is going to be inundated with job offers.
On TV and in Movies men can be fat, women can't. Unless they're losing weight. What Howard Stern said was mean. But that doesn't mean it wasn't true. I didn't see the movie. I'm sure she's a wonderful actress. But I'm also positive that if she hadn't been in that movie with those other big name stars, no one would give 2 shits about her.
Eventually, The View started naming all the fat lady actress. I think they named them all on one hand. Even those women, except maybe one, have never been 300 pounds. Even in plus sized modeling, there is a weight limit. Then they all got pissed because Howard Stern said Precious would end up killing herself being fat. Obesity is a cause of death. I agree! Being famous doesn't mean you're healthy and immune to death. Tons of famous people die from being unhealthy! You can't say that being morbidly obese is healthy!
I love fat people. I love that it's taboo to think food is addictive. I love that when someone is a drug addict or an alcoholic, no one goes on tv to say that what they're doing is OK and we shouldn't criticize them for being different. I hope I'm still alive when morbidly obese people go on Intervention.
As a side note, oh Heidi Montag. LOL
That skinny chick who does events with Ryan Seacrest and has her own show with her husband wants to have a baby. I haven't watched all the episodes, but I did watch the one where they babysat for 24 hours, didn't get any work or anything done, did it all the next day sans children, and said they could handle their lives as they are now with children in them. That's the shit you hear on 16 and Pregnant. Her Dr. told her she needed to gain 10 pounds for her body to be ready for a baby. She has stated in interviews that she is wary about trying to gain 5. Maybe she has body image issues or an eating disorder. Or maybe she has clauses in her contract that say she cannot get fat. I wouldn't be surprised.
The womanly image of Hollywood has changed over time, indeed. But just because curves are mildly more acceptable nowadays doesn't mean a 300 pound actress is going to be inundated with job offers.
On TV and in Movies men can be fat, women can't. Unless they're losing weight. What Howard Stern said was mean. But that doesn't mean it wasn't true. I didn't see the movie. I'm sure she's a wonderful actress. But I'm also positive that if she hadn't been in that movie with those other big name stars, no one would give 2 shits about her.
Eventually, The View started naming all the fat lady actress. I think they named them all on one hand. Even those women, except maybe one, have never been 300 pounds. Even in plus sized modeling, there is a weight limit. Then they all got pissed because Howard Stern said Precious would end up killing herself being fat. Obesity is a cause of death. I agree! Being famous doesn't mean you're healthy and immune to death. Tons of famous people die from being unhealthy! You can't say that being morbidly obese is healthy!
I love fat people. I love that it's taboo to think food is addictive. I love that when someone is a drug addict or an alcoholic, no one goes on tv to say that what they're doing is OK and we shouldn't criticize them for being different. I hope I'm still alive when morbidly obese people go on Intervention.
As a side note, oh Heidi Montag. LOL
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
TMI
The View is talking about periods.
It's gonna be a great post!
First, they listed nick-names and then made me feel bad about giving it nick-names because that seems to "cover it up."
Then, they said that WAY long ago, people blamed the uterus for everything. If anything was wrong with a woman... it was her uterus. I DO THE SAME THING! No matter what is wrong, it's either a problem generated by my birth control or my lady bits.
I kind of want to read this book. "Flow", BTW.
Doctors talk about how there is no medical need for a period. I'll agree, because Michelle Duggar probably hasn't had a period since 1982. Women are meant to have babies and having babies means there is no period to be had. However, it seems rather convenient to ignore the bit about the CONSTANT HORMONES. Maybe it's not necessary to have a period every month or every 3 months. But, perhaps, it's a little dangerous to stop that period with synthetic hormones. Not even the good ones! The cheap, generic, synthetic hormones.
I still love seeing the Mirena posters at the PP. The commercial doesn't describe what it does so I'm mildly convinced it's a blender. They stick it in your uterus and it acts like a food processor on your eggs and lining. The blender theory would actually get me to consider it. I think it's just more hormones, though. Lame.
It's gonna be a great post!
First, they listed nick-names and then made me feel bad about giving it nick-names because that seems to "cover it up."
Then, they said that WAY long ago, people blamed the uterus for everything. If anything was wrong with a woman... it was her uterus. I DO THE SAME THING! No matter what is wrong, it's either a problem generated by my birth control or my lady bits.
I kind of want to read this book. "Flow", BTW.
Doctors talk about how there is no medical need for a period. I'll agree, because Michelle Duggar probably hasn't had a period since 1982. Women are meant to have babies and having babies means there is no period to be had. However, it seems rather convenient to ignore the bit about the CONSTANT HORMONES. Maybe it's not necessary to have a period every month or every 3 months. But, perhaps, it's a little dangerous to stop that period with synthetic hormones. Not even the good ones! The cheap, generic, synthetic hormones.
I still love seeing the Mirena posters at the PP. The commercial doesn't describe what it does so I'm mildly convinced it's a blender. They stick it in your uterus and it acts like a food processor on your eggs and lining. The blender theory would actually get me to consider it. I think it's just more hormones, though. Lame.
Monday, March 8, 2010
My love isn't arbitrary
Me: I love you.
JD: how much?
Me: 5 Cowboys.
JD: 5 Arbitrary Units of Measure?
Me: No, 5 cowboys!
JD: Those are arbitrary units of measure.
Me: It's no fun if you call them that!
JD: I love you 5 dead raccoons.
Me: I'm blogging this.
JD: Make sure you add the part about the arbitrary units of measure.
Me: Way to micro manage my blog post.
"I watched it on your blob! All those videos of you!"
JD's grandparents talking about the videos JD put up on YouTube and linked in his blog (which grandma calls a blob). They clicked on the suggested videos for 2 hours thinking they were all JD. They said things looked suspicious in one where a man was modeling his motorcycle gear in his house (it looked just like your house!) and a beagle walked by. Old people are great.
JD and I watch The Amazing Race and react as if we were on the show. This week was eating sauerkraut and drinking a boot of beer. In our pretend leg of the race, we would be stopping at every acceptable building to poop and/or vomit. I was getting sick just looking at the cops eat the kraut. I don't like beer. JD would have to consume 7/8 of that boot. We would certainly lose to the cowboys.
JD: how much?
Me: 5 Cowboys.
JD: 5 Arbitrary Units of Measure?
Me: No, 5 cowboys!
JD: Those are arbitrary units of measure.
Me: It's no fun if you call them that!
JD: I love you 5 dead raccoons.
Me: I'm blogging this.
JD: Make sure you add the part about the arbitrary units of measure.
Me: Way to micro manage my blog post.
"I watched it on your blob! All those videos of you!"
JD's grandparents talking about the videos JD put up on YouTube and linked in his blog (which grandma calls a blob). They clicked on the suggested videos for 2 hours thinking they were all JD. They said things looked suspicious in one where a man was modeling his motorcycle gear in his house (it looked just like your house!) and a beagle walked by. Old people are great.
JD and I watch The Amazing Race and react as if we were on the show. This week was eating sauerkraut and drinking a boot of beer. In our pretend leg of the race, we would be stopping at every acceptable building to poop and/or vomit. I was getting sick just looking at the cops eat the kraut. I don't like beer. JD would have to consume 7/8 of that boot. We would certainly lose to the cowboys.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Skipping square dancing today
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIltdURp-9Y
I told JD about the first time I got my period and he didn't leave me! Yay! And then he told me about an ex who frequently walked in on him pooping. And I didn't leave him, Yay! Time to win the lottery!
But seriously, the best use of YouTube is to post films from education classes of yesteryear.
I downloaded a FREE Betty Crocker recipe app. It's amazing.
Ugh I do not feel like doing anything today. I searched for jobs for... 2 hours? Got some nice ones, today, too. I don't want to exercise. I don't want to walk. I don't want to ride the bike. I don't want to watch TV. The dogs are being nuts today and it's not helping that I'm crabby.
I told JD about the first time I got my period and he didn't leave me! Yay! And then he told me about an ex who frequently walked in on him pooping. And I didn't leave him, Yay! Time to win the lottery!
But seriously, the best use of YouTube is to post films from education classes of yesteryear.
I downloaded a FREE Betty Crocker recipe app. It's amazing.
Ugh I do not feel like doing anything today. I searched for jobs for... 2 hours? Got some nice ones, today, too. I don't want to exercise. I don't want to walk. I don't want to ride the bike. I don't want to watch TV. The dogs are being nuts today and it's not helping that I'm crabby.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Meanderings
Oh chubby beauty pageant child. Judging by the size of your mother, I predict you'll have an eating disorder by 12.
With The Biggest Loser off for 2 weeks, I forgot that I disliked Miggy. It was like a whole new group. Who are these people?
If you're underaged and doing things most people in their 30s do, I'll watch you on TV. (Unless it's making lots of money. I feel bad enough about myself as is, I don't need your help to bring me down)
If you're morbidly obese and in denial about your addiction to food and/or are trying to lose the weight, I'll watch you on TV.
If you're on Bravo, I'll probably watch your show for the first season, but probably not for the spin offs.
If you're Tim Gunn, I will definitely watch you on tv.
I can't believe I missed the memo that Kate is on Dancing with the Stars!!!! How did I miss that?!?!?! I need a job so I can keep up o n my internet news.
Speaking of, why do they keep putting dancers on that show? I guess it's not called "these celebrities can't dance... but watch them try!" Still, though. The lead singer of Pussycat Dolls is... DUH NAH! A professional dancer. I suppose if you get paid to sing and dance, you're not a professional dancer. Just a professional singer? Performer? LAME.
I love Tim Gunn. I don't know if it's his voice, his vocabulary, or his tact, but it's fabulous. OH MY GOSH this episode has the angry British hairdresser?! How did I not see this in the original season?
With The Biggest Loser off for 2 weeks, I forgot that I disliked Miggy. It was like a whole new group. Who are these people?
If you're underaged and doing things most people in their 30s do, I'll watch you on TV. (Unless it's making lots of money. I feel bad enough about myself as is, I don't need your help to bring me down)
If you're morbidly obese and in denial about your addiction to food and/or are trying to lose the weight, I'll watch you on TV.
If you're on Bravo, I'll probably watch your show for the first season, but probably not for the spin offs.
If you're Tim Gunn, I will definitely watch you on tv.
I can't believe I missed the memo that Kate is on Dancing with the Stars!!!! How did I miss that?!?!?! I need a job so I can keep up o n my internet news.
Speaking of, why do they keep putting dancers on that show? I guess it's not called "these celebrities can't dance... but watch them try!" Still, though. The lead singer of Pussycat Dolls is... DUH NAH! A professional dancer. I suppose if you get paid to sing and dance, you're not a professional dancer. Just a professional singer? Performer? LAME.
I love Tim Gunn. I don't know if it's his voice, his vocabulary, or his tact, but it's fabulous. OH MY GOSH this episode has the angry British hairdresser?! How did I not see this in the original season?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
